Wednesday, December 26, 2007

HcG Numbers & Sonograms

On December 3rd, I went into the doctor's office to have the results confirmed. They took blood work that morning and again on December 5th. On December 6th, they called to say the numbers were increasing adequately and it seemed to be a viable pregnancy. I felt great joy!

On December 10th, I had my first sonogram. I measured at 5 weeks.

On Christmas day, I had a little spotting. So on the 26th, I scheduled an appointment with Dr. Shows office. She was out for the day, so I saw Dr. Wratten. She did an ultrasound and everything appeared to be fine.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

2007 Holiday Letter

December 2007

Howdy, y’all!

Our holiday letter is running a little late, but we wanted to wish you a very Merry Christmas and tell you a little about what’s been going on here in San Antonio. Mom’s been real busy helping with me, so I decided I’d write the letter for her.

My big sister, Jessica, is getting really tall! She’s almost 13 years old now. She’s very pretty and super sweet. She’s been taking dance lessons this year and is getting really good. She’s very smart and loves to read. She’s also been learning to speak in Spanish and Japanese. Sometimes mom doesn’t even know what she’s saying. Jessica thinks that might be a good thing.

My big brother, Jacob is really awesome! He’s already 10. I’m looking forward to the day when he teaches me to play Chess. He’s great at the game! He’s even beat Daddy a few times, 12 to be exact. Jacob took acting classes this summer. He really enjoyed doing all the stage fights. He’s been working hard at being a Cub Scout and now they call him a Webelo. He’s counting down the days till camp. He’s pretty cool.

My other big brother, David, is 9. He has the loudest burp you’ve ever heard! I’m pretty sure all of heaven can even hear him. I’m gonna have him teach me how to do it, too. Mommy says it’s not a gentleman or lady-like thing to do, but it sure makes people laugh. David is also a Cub Scout. They call him a Bear now, but he’s really a fun kid!

My other, other big brother, Johnathon, is starting to read and he’s only 5 years old. He’s doing a great job! Some day he’s gonna read books to me. He and all my big siblings attend a coop with a bunch of other really nice people. They learn really cool stuff there. Johnathon loves it! He also graduated from Speech Class this year. The teacher said he’s already smarter than most of the kids at her school.

As you probably know, Daddy spent most of his time in Pennsylvania this year. Everybody missed him a bunch! We’re glad Daddy’s been able to be at home with us for the holidays. He hasn’t heard where his next assignment is, but his last two were on islands. Mom’s jealous and wants to trade jobs.

As for Mommy, well, she keeps herself busy all the time. She says it’s cause she has so many kids, but I think she just likes doing a whole lot of stuff. She always makes time for knitting and has made my big sister some pretty sweaters.

Speaking of my big sister, I almost forgot to tell you what Deborah’s been up to. She’s 15 months old and she’s walking FAST now. Mommy can barely keep up. She loves to climb on things to get what she wants, but she’s still learning how to talk. She has a few words mastered … like Daddy. Mommy says it’s really good cause she always calls for Daddy in the mornings. She’s gonna be a fun playmate!

Even though Daddy was gone so much of the year, he still managed to find time to slip one past the goalie. I’m really looking forward to meeting y’all some time late in the summer. I’ve heard lots of good things about you. The doctor told Mommy that I’ll be here by 8-8-2008, just 3 days before she turns 40. Till then please keep us in your prayers and my family will remember you in their prayers.

Love,

The Mann’s -- Dwight, Tina, Jessica, Jacob, David, Johnathon, Deborah, and me

PS Keep in touch! We’d love to hear from you

Saturday, December 1, 2007

I'm PREGNANT!

I went downstairs and said to Dwight, "It looks like I won't need to have that test this week." He was completely confused and motioned for me to come sit with him. So, I went over and sat on his lap. I repeated what I said and he asked "Why?" So, I whispered to him. He is really excited also! I can't believe I'm pregnant again. I'm so excited. I'm thrilled that my dr's were wrong. :)

It looks like my due date will be 8-8-08, just 3 days before I turn 40. Whewhoo!

Two lines?????

To satisfy Dwight I bought a home pregnancy test today. I've been drinking a ton of water all day and while I know they say you can test at anytime of day or night, I figured I should probably wait till morning. Then my curiosity got the best of me... afterall, there are two tests.

Can it be two lines?



I'm shaking! I'm so excited! I must go tell Dwight....
December finally rolled around. On the Saturday, the 1st, Dwight was home for the weekend. We needed to go grocery shopping and Dwight was adamant that I needed to take a pregnancy test. I was only 2 days late, which was not uncommon for me and I felt it was a waste of money. Dwight was a little irritated with me and thought I was being silly. I didn't think it was wise to waste money when we knew that I couldn't get pregnant.

Anyone who knows Dwight, knows that he can be quite opinionated. It is often easier to just agree to what he wants than to argue with him. So to satisfy Dwight I bought a home pregnancy test. A box of 2 actually.

I had been drinking a ton of water all day (in hopes of losing weight). And, while they say you can test at anytime of day or night, I figured I should probably wait till morning. Then ... my curiosity got the best of me... afterall, there were two tests.

Shopping

I can't believe it's already December. YIKES! Dwight and I need to go grocery shopping this morning. He thinks I should buy a pregnancy test. I'm only 2 days late, and I think it'll just be a waste of money. He's a little irritated with me. He says I'm being silly. I just have financial goals that I'd really like to meet.

David

David has amazing Primary teachers. A few of our children have been blessed to have them as instructors in various classes. Bro & Sis Kimball magnify every calling and they're just really neat people. This is a picture they took of David:

Just a little moody today...

I'm just a little moody today. I keep reminding myself that it's just a cycle thing. I should be starting anytime, and every month I'm a bit moody a day or two before I start. I must remember to be patient.

My sweetheart ticked me off tonight and he's not even home yet. After I hung up the phone I realized that it is really me, not him. I need to apologize.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thanksgiving

It has been a very relaxing day with the family. I have much to be thankful for in my life. I'm especially thankful for my sweet husband and that he could be home today. I'm thankful that he has a good job and that he is a hard worker.

I'm also very thankful for my children. Each of them are very good and kind.

I am a very blessed woman.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

An HSG has been ordered...

I spoke with my OB and she is sending the orders for an HSG. I will need to schedule it once I start my next cycle, which should be the beginning of December. It has to be done sometime during cycle days 5-9. I'm nervous about it and still a little unresolved about doing. However, I've decided to have it done in hopes that it will give us more information on why I'm so tender.

It will also give us a more clear picture of whether my tubes are really completely closed or not. It should be interesting. It seems like it's a long time away though. I'm anxious.
I had been praying about this whole situation with my tubes and IVF, etc. On Saturday, November 10th, the answer came that I needed to speak with Brother Jeremy King at church. In October, he shared his testimony. He shared a story about his work experience as a fertility specialist for the military.

I am a very private person, especially when it comes to personal health issues. However, the Lord had prompted me to speak with him and so on Sunday I did.

Bro King was so kind. He said that it is premature to make a definitive diagnosis of hydrosalpinx from an ultrasound. He said I really need to have an HSG or laproscopic surgery to see what is really happening. Bro King recommended that I ask my dr for an HSG to start. He even offered to order it for me if my doctor was unwilling to order it that he will order it for me. Unfortunately, because he's military, he was unable to treat me in his office, but he was willing to help in any way possible.

He sounded hopeful. I'm thankful that he came as an answer to prayer. What a blessing for me.
I'm so thankful for personal revelation.

On Thursday, November 15th, I spoke with my OB. She was willing to order the HSG even though she really felt like I was putting myself through unnecessary discomfort. It was to be scheduled at the start of my next cycle, which was due at the beginning of December. It needed to be done sometime during cycle days 5-9. Thus I was instructed to call on cycle day 1 to schedule it.

I was very nervous about the HSG. I had heard they were very uncomfortable. I was also still a little unresolved about doing it. However, I decided to have it done in hopes that it would at least give us more information to explain the tenderness.

I was also hopeful that it would give us a more clear picture of whether my tubes were really completely closed or not. I was anxious and it seemed that the first day of my cycle would never come. I also noted at that time, "I think this situation is also not being dealt with as well as it should be due to the fact that my OB is having her own first baby tomorrow. I love this OB; however, I think she just has other things on her mind now (understandably). "

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Answers

I spoke with the fertility specialist at church. He was so kind. He said that it is premature to make a definitive diagnosis of hydrosalpinx from an ultrasound. He said I really need to have an HSG or laproscopic surgery to see what is really happening. He recommended that I ask my dr for an HSG to start. He said if she's unwilling to order it that he will order it for me. Unfortunately, because he's military, he can't treat me in his office, but he's willing to help in any way possible.

He sounded hopeful. I'm thankful that he came as an answer to prayer. What a blessing for me.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Prayer

I have been praying about this whole situation with my tubes and IVF, etc. The answer came today that I need to speak with one of the men at our church congregation. In a testimony that he shared last month he shared a story about his work experience as a fertility specialist. He is military; thus, I wouldn't be able to see him professionally. I don't usually like to share my health information with people. However, my answer was to speak with him. I will do that on Sunday.

I'm so thankful for personal revelation.

Friday, November 9, 2007

And the OB says ...

I spoke with OB. She said the enlarged and fibrous appearance to my uterus on the CT is consistent with having had 5 children.

The hydrosalpinx is not something she would recommend treating. She again confirmed that there is nothing her office can do for us as far as having another child. She feels like we'd just be wasting our time with any type of attempt to get pregnant. She's also concerned that if I do IVF that I might get pregnant with multiples. She's not sure that my uterus could handle a pregnancy with more than 1 child.

I still feel very confused. I do not have an answer to why I have such tenderness on the left side. Additionally, I'm not sure it makes sense for us to spend $15,000 on a CHANCE of getting pregnant when we already have 5 beautiful healthy children. I called the fertility specialist and they want $280 to just talk with us on an intial visit. If money were no object, I wouldn't hesitate. However, that is not my reality. I just feel so unresolved about all of this. I will keep praying.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

And, the surgeon says ...

I went to see the surgeon today after a weekend of severe pain. I think all the pushing and prodding that the dr did must have caused the pain, perhaps it ruptured something. The pain and tenderness seems to have decreased a lot now.

The surgeon was a very nice man. I suspect he doesn't generally get to meet with happy people as he seemed quite surprised by my pleasant attitude.

He also thinks it's an incisional hernia and has ordered a CT scan.
I spent a lot of time praying during the days between the appointment with Dr. Shows and with the Surgeon. The weekend was filled with a lot of severe pain. I think all the pushing and prodding that the dr did must have caused the pain, perhaps it ruptured something. By that Tuesday morning, the pain and tenderness seemed to have decreased a lot.

The surgeon was a very nice man. I suspect he doesn't generally get to meet with happy people as he seemed quite surprised by my pleasant attitude. He also thought I had an incisional hernia and ordered a CT scan to confirm it.

When the CT test results came back, however, it was not an incisional hernia. Instead they found that my uterus had an enlarged and fibrous appearance, which is consistent with having had 5 children. Dr Shows felt there was no need to treat the hydrosalpinx. I'm still not sure if this was due to the lack of treatments, or the lack of interest in the situation.

I really enjoyed Dr. Shows however she was expecting her first baby and just didn't seem to be at the top of her game. I knew that I needed the guidance of a medical professional, but I didn't feel like I was even getting her attention. It was disappointing as Dr Shows had been so helpful previously in diagnosing my Lupus.

Dr. Shows confirmed again that there was nothing her office could do for us as far as having another child. She felt like we'd just be wasting our time with any type of attempt to get pregnant. She also expressed concerned that if I used IVF to get pregnant that I could have a pregnancy with multiples. She was not sure that my uterus could handle a pregnancy with more than 1 child.

I still felt very confused. I did not have an answer to why I had such tenderness on the left side. Additionally, it sure didn't makes sense for us to spend $15,000 (or more) on a CHANCE of getting pregnant when we already have 5 beautiful healthy children.

I felt however that I needed to explore all avenues. So, I called the fertility specialist and they wanted $280 to just talk with us on an intial visit. If money were no object, I wouldn't have hesitated. However, that is not our reality. Money is an object.

I felt so unresolved about all of this and so I kept praying.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

The bad news has been confirmed

Today I saw the dr for a follow up to the ultrasound. She confirmed that with hydrosalpinx my only hope for getting pregnant would be to have the assistance of a fertility specialists. She gave me the name of a dr whose office is within a mile from my home.

She also pushed and prodded on the lump. It hurt. She thinks it might be a hernia and has recommended that I see a surgeon. I suppose we'll see what he says.

I still don't understand why Dwight and I both have received the personal revelation that we are to have one more child. I know that adoption is always an option. It just doesn't seem to be the answer. I will keep praying about this. I need to understand why it's changed.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

NEVER again?? ..... But .... there's one more.

Today I had an ultrasound done. While I was laying on the table, the ultrasound tech said that both of my tubes were filled with fluid, a condition called "Hydrosalpinx". Then she said, "You won't have any more children without doing IVF."

WHAT? I suppose she assumed that because I have 5 children that she could just drop this news on me without softening it any way. It's really come as a HUGE shock and a great disappointment. We have been trying to conceive #6 as we KNOW .... or at least thought we knew ... that there is one more child to come to our family.

Now what?

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Happy Days

Today was an amazing day! I was able to go through the Louisville Kentucky Temple with my sister. (I'm so proud of you, sis!) It was a sweet experience! And to make it even better ... my parents, Aunt Della, Aunt Anita, Uncle Leslie, Aunt Jamie, and Uncle Edward (pronounced Eddard) were all there!

And, after our Temple session, Mom and Dad Mann who just happened to be in Louisville for a meeting, met us and we were able to visit over lunch.

Here's a picture they took ...

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

What is this lump?

I went to the dr's today because I have a lump on the lower left side of my abdomen. It's very tender and has been there since baby #5. I had assumed that it was due to just not being stitched up evenly after the last c-section. However, it seems to be growing and has become very tender.

The dr was unavailable and so I saw the nurse practitioner. She felt it and said it just appeared to be a split abdominal muscle. However, since I'm tender from the left side to the middle she ordered an ultrasound for when we return from visiting my family.
I had noticed a lump on my lower left side. At first, it was a vain thing for me. I just didn't like that the lump prevented me from having a nice flat tummy. I had assumed that it was due to just not being stitched up evenly after the 4th c-section. It had been there since shortly after Deborah's delivery, but sometime in the late summer of '07 it had started to become very tender at times and it seemed to be growing.

Unfortunately, Dr. Shows was unavailable and so I saw the Nurse Practitioner. I've never been fond of seeing Nurse Practitioners. It's nothing personal. It has just always been my experience that they examine me and then require me to come in again to see the doctor. If I had known I'd only be seen by the NP, I would have waited.

She looked at the lump, felt it and said it just appeared to be a split abdominal muscle. However, since I was tender from the left side to the middle she ordered an ultrasound. Unfortunately, they couldn't get me in for an ultrasound until after I returned from my planned trip to Indiana.

After a wonderful trip and a great experience at the Louisville Temple with my sister, parents, aunts and uncles, the time finally rolled around for my ultrasound. On Wednesday, October 24, 2007, I had an ultrasound done at Dr Show's office.

The Ultrasound technician did an intravaginal ultrasound. OUCH! While I was laying on the table, the ultrasound tech said that both of my tubes were filled with fluid, a condition called "Hydrosalpinx". Then she said, "You won't have any more children without doing IVF."

WHAT? I suppose she assumed that because I have 5 children that she could just drop this news on me without softening it any way. But it really came as a HUGE shock and a great disappointment. We had been trying to conceive #6 as we KNEW .... or at least thought we knew ... that there was one more child to come to our family.

On Thursday, October 25th, I saw Dr. Shows to review the tests results. She confirmed that with hydrosalpinx my only hope for getting pregnant would be to have the assistance of a fertility specialists. She gave me the name of a dr whose office is within a mile from my home.

She also pushed and prodded on the lump. It hurt. She thought it might be a hernia and recommended that I see a surgeon.

After leaving her office, I felt very confused. Why did Dwight and I both receive the personal revelation that we were to have one more child if that was not an option? The thought came that perhaps we needed to adopt, but it really just didn't seem to be the answer. I decided I would continue to pray about it as I needed to understand whether we had misunderstood the personal revelation, or if something had changed, or if the Lord just had something special in mind for our family.