Perhaps some of you know that last September I started taking college classes through Brigham Young University-Idaho. Did you know that the three most common reasons that prevent people from going back to college are finances, fear of math, or fear of writing? I fall into the latter category. I worry that I will not be able to do all the writing assignments.
Well, I am now taking a writing class and our first assignment was to write a love letter to an object. Yes, you read that correctly. We had to write the love letter to an object, not a person.
The night before I wrote my love letter I had a horrible experience with getting a virus on my laptop. Like most families today, we are not a one laptop family. We have an impressive array of desktops, servers, and laptops that would rival any small business office's network. But, it was mine.
The combination of the assignment and the virus resulted in the following love letter. Jessica thought you all might enjoy it also. I hope you find it entertaining.
I am sorry that I did not do a better job of protecting you from this pernicious virus. My heart ached tonight as I watched the last glimmer of light fade from your screen. You have always been so faithful to me. It was careless of me not to notice that the antivirus software was not running every night. Now I can only hope that the rumors of fatality are not true. You must know that you cannot be replaced by just any laptop. It is you, and only you, that I want.
I love your camera and the way it blinks when I first turn you on each day. I know I told you it was creepy in the beginning of our relationship, but I find it endearing now. Tonight as I ponder how much longer I will have you, I long to see your blue light wink at me. I love that with your camera you take me to places all over the world to find my husband. You never seem too tired to adjust to my needs.
Your keyboard is the only one that feels right to me. I love the warmth that radiates from the keys as I place my hands into position to type. The tiny bars on your F and J guide my pointer fingers to their home positions. The memory of your keys clicking under my fingertips as I quickly glide across makes me long to have you back again. With each stroke so quickly recorded and categorized, you bring deep relaxation to my mind and body.
Because of you, I am able to keep in touch with all of my friends daily. I can see every piece of their news and every pixel they post. I can hardly pull myself away from you. Like Steven Tyler of Aerosmith breathlessly sings, “I don’t want to close my eyes. I don’t want to fall asleep…. I don’t want to miss a thing.”
You will consume my every waking moment until I have restored you to your full vigor. I will search out the best programs for our recovery efforts and the best people to work on your firm body as I cannot part with your sleekness. I will do all in my power to heal you of this virus. I love you, my dear laptop!
Your One and Only,