Tuesday, October 30, 2007

And, the surgeon says ...

I went to see the surgeon today after a weekend of severe pain. I think all the pushing and prodding that the dr did must have caused the pain, perhaps it ruptured something. The pain and tenderness seems to have decreased a lot now.

The surgeon was a very nice man. I suspect he doesn't generally get to meet with happy people as he seemed quite surprised by my pleasant attitude.

He also thinks it's an incisional hernia and has ordered a CT scan.
I spent a lot of time praying during the days between the appointment with Dr. Shows and with the Surgeon. The weekend was filled with a lot of severe pain. I think all the pushing and prodding that the dr did must have caused the pain, perhaps it ruptured something. By that Tuesday morning, the pain and tenderness seemed to have decreased a lot.

The surgeon was a very nice man. I suspect he doesn't generally get to meet with happy people as he seemed quite surprised by my pleasant attitude. He also thought I had an incisional hernia and ordered a CT scan to confirm it.

When the CT test results came back, however, it was not an incisional hernia. Instead they found that my uterus had an enlarged and fibrous appearance, which is consistent with having had 5 children. Dr Shows felt there was no need to treat the hydrosalpinx. I'm still not sure if this was due to the lack of treatments, or the lack of interest in the situation.

I really enjoyed Dr. Shows however she was expecting her first baby and just didn't seem to be at the top of her game. I knew that I needed the guidance of a medical professional, but I didn't feel like I was even getting her attention. It was disappointing as Dr Shows had been so helpful previously in diagnosing my Lupus.

Dr. Shows confirmed again that there was nothing her office could do for us as far as having another child. She felt like we'd just be wasting our time with any type of attempt to get pregnant. She also expressed concerned that if I used IVF to get pregnant that I could have a pregnancy with multiples. She was not sure that my uterus could handle a pregnancy with more than 1 child.

I still felt very confused. I did not have an answer to why I had such tenderness on the left side. Additionally, it sure didn't makes sense for us to spend $15,000 (or more) on a CHANCE of getting pregnant when we already have 5 beautiful healthy children.

I felt however that I needed to explore all avenues. So, I called the fertility specialist and they wanted $280 to just talk with us on an intial visit. If money were no object, I wouldn't have hesitated. However, that is not our reality. Money is an object.

I felt so unresolved about all of this and so I kept praying.