Thursday, May 27, 2010


The biopsy results are in and I'm cancer free!  Isn't that wonderful news??!!  Oh, thank you so much for all the prayers.  The prayers worked. The prayers worked!  They worked! 

(And, yes, I knew they would.)
Returning the dermatologist's phone call now... feeling anxious...
Good morning.

The bone pain has been pretty intense this round.  I can only describe the pain as feeling like little bubbles were forcing their way through my bones.  It felt like my bones were going to explode from the pressure inside them.  Neither Ibuprofen or Darvocet helped at all.  Vicodin numbed it a little. Thankfully, it seems to be calming a bit.  Two nights ago I thought I went downstairs to switch the laundry and almost cried at the idea of walking back up stairs.  My sweet Jacob heard me downstairs and came down to check on me.  He walked with me upstairs.  It was so sweet.  It was nice to have the extra support of a young man who loves his Mom. Jacob can be so empathetic and compassionate.  I love that about him.

I had reported that all the munchkins were healthy again after having some sick kiddos over the weekend.  Unfortunately, I was wrong.  Monday night proved to be a rough night for Ryan and Deborah.  Yesterday they were both running fevers and really congested.  I suspect it is just a viral thing.  I'm pretty confident that it'll just run it's course for Deborah and that there's nothing to worry about.  I wish I felt the same regarding Ryan.  Yesterday, he laid on my bed all day obviously feeling miserable.  He cried a lot last night.  Sometimes it was because he was choking and other times it was simply that he didn't want to be alone.  Once he wakes up today I'll decide whether to take him to the doctor's or not.  I'm thankful that I have a pediatrician who encourages me to bring him in whenever I feel the need, even if it is just for my assurance.

One cute little story ... last night after I had all the kids in bed, Deborah came back into my room.  "Mommy, my eyes keep spilling water when I close them.  Water and more water."  At first I thought she might have taken a cup to bed with her.  Then I realized she was referring to her eyes watering.  She is so congested that her little eyes look like they have big alligator tears in them.  It was sweet.  I gave her a packet of "special kleenex" to help dry her eyes as needed and she went back to sleep.

So, that's the excitement at our house.  In between all this stuff, I've been reading a lot about Enduring.  I am beginning to suspect that God has given me my particular challenges so that I can learn to endure well, not just to sprint well.  It's been tough with this last round of chemo to keep myself from going to dark places.  I have managed to do so, but it has required much more thought and effort.  What has helped?  Well, the usual.  Reading scriptures and other uplifting materials.  Praying.  Lots of praying.  Finding time to be with amazing friends.  More praying.  Serving others even if it's been in my limited capacity.  And, did I mention, all the prayers?

Sometimes in the midst of our challenges, especially when they have gone on for a while, it can be difficult to remember.  Remember to read our scriptures. Remember to pray.  Remember to serve.  Remember to have faith.  Remember to rejoice.  Remember Him.  Remember the promises.

The promises.  They are real.

"Peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but for a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high."  (D&C 121:7-8)

May it be said of each of us:  "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith."  (2 Timothy 4.7)

Off to the fight...

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Isn't this adorable?

Ryan loves to listen to us play the piano. Today I went downstairs and found Ryan parked right next to the piano. Jacob was playing and talking with him. They both were so happy.

PS The kids are all healthy and feisty again. :)