Lately I have been feeling very overwhelmed and exhausted. My load hasn't really changed. I'm not getting any more or less rest. So, why?

Today I was reading and pondering and I think I found my answer: It's Martha-like anxiety.

You probably remember the story in Luke 10:40-43.

Perhaps my mother should have named me Martha. I am a born Martha. I'm good at being Martha. I love tasks. I love lists. I love working. I love accomplishing things.

But...

Even more ...

I love the peace that comes when I sit with the scriptures and I read. I love the peace that comes when I attend to spiritual things. I love the peace that I feel when I ponder on spiritual things. I love the peace that comes when I pray ... I mean really pray ... not just quick, short on my way out the door prayers. I love the peace that I feel when I feast on the teachings of the Savior.

I want to be a Mary.

Ups and Downs of Life

Up: Ryan has been making lots of new sounds during the past few days. It's fun to hear him experimenting with so many different noises. It makes my heart feel glad!

Down: Today I received the bill for all the tests that were done at MD Anderson during the last round of Cancer check ups. Two grand. Ugh. Can I just skip the next round of testing?