Thursday, June 10, 2010

Ryan's mic-Key Button

We changed out Ryan's mic-Key button again today. (I'll spare you of me singing the song, yet again.) It's the exact same, just a new one. It took all of about 10 minutes. In fact, our appointment was at 2 pm and I was in my car pulling out of the hospital at 2.02 pm. I wish all appointments were like that. :)
The scriptures tell us to liken them unto ourselves, right? Well, today as I was driving, I realized here's how the beginning of Doctrine and Covenants 123:17 is likened to me:

"Let us CHEERFULLY do all things (including driving) even while on Prednisone!"

Man, I am one impatient driver on Prednisone. Today I was driving up a very heavily congested street and was just unwilling to let anyone pull out on to the street. Normally, I let a car out of the parking lot. Not today. In fact, one lady was very aggressively trying to cut me off... I won.

I hope it wasn't any of my friends. Even if it was maybe they didn't recognize me since I was driving a rental SUV. :) Whew.

The Good Effect of Prednisone

I hate Prednisone. You may remember that from previous posts. I think the saddest picture ever taken of me was taken just after finding out chemotherapy would involve Prednisone. However, I have found a side effect that I like. (Forgive me if this seems inappropriate to share with the world.) So... drum roll, please ... it gives me bigger boobs!

Whewhoo! ... or is that a Whoop, Whoop!

(Too bad it's a very temporary side effect.)

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Change of Plans: Chemo is back.

The good news didn't change. The biopsy report still showed "no residual disease." Whewhoo! However, after reconsidering, the Doctor presented two options to me today when I went for a consultation before the schedule "maintenance treatments." We could continue with the plan of moving immediately to the "maintenance treatments" of once every six weeks for the next 2 years, or we could do the more conservative, safer route of 2 more aggressive chemotherapy treatments.

Obviously, what I want is to have to do nothing. What I want is to be a Mom and a Sweetheart with the time and energy to show my family how important each of them. What I want is to never feel sick to my stomach again. What I want is to ... well, it's not making me feel better to list the things I want but don't have right now.

So, I'll tell you the story instead.... during the past weeks, on a couple of occasions I have heard the quiet whisperings of "You really need to finish out the chemotherapy." But, I didn't want to do it and it wasn't what the doctor recommended. So, I ignored. (Geez, as I typed that just now, I thought, "You'd think I would have learned. Heavenly Father told me to that an aggressive treatment would be effective, but we spent 2 months treating it with the less aggressive method cause I didn't push to be more aggressive. I really need to listen and act.) Anyway, so when he brought up the 2 options, I immediately knew that what I needed to do was to finish what we started and then go to the maintenance option. So, that's what we're doing.

When I told my sweetheart, Dwight, about the doctor recommending 2 more doses of chemo, he said, "I felt impressed that you were quitting too soon." He is so kind to allow me to get my own answers, but I really appreciate when he shares his feelings and impressions with me. He helps to reinforce my confidence that what I'm feeling is really coming from Heavenly Father and not just from me. Do you ever need that second witness?

Anyway ... thank heavens for a doctor who is willing to be humble enough to continuously be learning. Thank heavens for the technology that allows doctors to share all their findings and to learn from one another. Thank heavens for the angelic staff that takes such good care of me while I'm there. And, thank the heavens a few times for a port that allows me to get stuck only once instead of 3 or 4 times!

The treatments went well today. I'm feeling a little weird right now. I will say that I was a bit disappointed to know that I'd have these side effects 2 more times. Yet, I know it is the right decision. I'm so thankful that I know I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and cares so much about every detail of my life!

Oh, and I'm thankful for the good friends who helped today: My mother-in-law has been such a sweetheart to be here with the children and such a joy to talk with. My friend (and Ryan's friend) who played with him and loved him ... and even likes me! My friends who brought over a really, really delicious dinner, chicken & dumplings. Yummy! Ya'll know how to cook!

And, now I'm off to bed to try and get some sleep. Ryan is having his mic-KEY button (m-i-c-k-e-y m-o-u-s-e ... can you read that without thinking of that song?) ... sorry ... he's having it replaced tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes.

Keep those prayers coming, kay?