Monday, July 5, 2010

Raw Reality

Today I was wondering about Barnes & Noble waiting for Jessica. I innocently wandered into the special needs section. Most of the books really didn't relate to Ryan. They were either about ADHD or Autism. But one caught my eye. The Horse Boy: A Memoir of Healing.

Healing. That's what I want for Ryan.

As I quickly scanned it I felt an overwhelming flood of emotions. A longing to make his body whole. To make life easier for him. Perhaps to make life easier for me too.

Their quest for healing took them to Mongolia. Mongolia. What if Mongolia had the answers for Ryan? Could I get him there? Would I take him there?

For a brief moment, this national bestselling book stirred up all the emotions and fears that I keep so locked away. Fearing a complete melt down, I quickly put it all away, crossed my arms in a self-protective hug and reassured myself that it will all be okay.

It will be okay.

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