Today I saw the dr for a follow up to the ultrasound. She confirmed that with hydrosalpinx my only hope for getting pregnant would be to have the assistance of a fertility specialists. She gave me the name of a dr whose office is within a mile from my home.
She also pushed and prodded on the lump. It hurt. She thinks it might be a hernia and has recommended that I see a surgeon. I suppose we'll see what he says.
I still don't understand why Dwight and I both have received the personal revelation that we are to have one more child. I know that adoption is always an option. It just doesn't seem to be the answer. I will keep praying about this. I need to understand why it's changed.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
NEVER again?? ..... But .... there's one more.
Today I had an ultrasound done. While I was laying on the table, the ultrasound tech said that both of my tubes were filled with fluid, a condition called "Hydrosalpinx". Then she said, "You won't have any more children without doing IVF."
WHAT? I suppose she assumed that because I have 5 children that she could just drop this news on me without softening it any way. It's really come as a HUGE shock and a great disappointment. We have been trying to conceive #6 as we KNOW .... or at least thought we knew ... that there is one more child to come to our family.
Now what?
WHAT? I suppose she assumed that because I have 5 children that she could just drop this news on me without softening it any way. It's really come as a HUGE shock and a great disappointment. We have been trying to conceive #6 as we KNOW .... or at least thought we knew ... that there is one more child to come to our family.
Now what?
Labels:
Health
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Happy Days
Today was an amazing day! I was able to go through the Louisville Kentucky Temple with my sister. (I'm so proud of you, sis!) It was a sweet experience! And to make it even better ... my parents, Aunt Della, Aunt Anita, Uncle Leslie, Aunt Jamie, and Uncle Edward (pronounced Eddard) were all there!
And, after our Temple session, Mom and Dad Mann who just happened to be in Louisville for a meeting, met us and we were able to visit over lunch.
Here's a picture they took ...
And, after our Temple session, Mom and Dad Mann who just happened to be in Louisville for a meeting, met us and we were able to visit over lunch.
Here's a picture they took ...
Labels:
pictures
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
What is this lump?
I went to the dr's today because I have a lump on the lower left side of my abdomen. It's very tender and has been there since baby #5. I had assumed that it was due to just not being stitched up evenly after the last c-section. However, it seems to be growing and has become very tender.
The dr was unavailable and so I saw the nurse practitioner. She felt it and said it just appeared to be a split abdominal muscle. However, since I'm tender from the left side to the middle she ordered an ultrasound for when we return from visiting my family.
The dr was unavailable and so I saw the nurse practitioner. She felt it and said it just appeared to be a split abdominal muscle. However, since I'm tender from the left side to the middle she ordered an ultrasound for when we return from visiting my family.
Labels:
Health
I had noticed a lump on my lower left side. At first, it was a vain thing for me. I just didn't like that the lump prevented me from having a nice flat tummy. I had assumed that it was due to just not being stitched up evenly after the 4th c-section. It had been there since shortly after Deborah's delivery, but sometime in the late summer of '07 it had started to become very tender at times and it seemed to be growing.
Unfortunately, Dr. Shows was unavailable and so I saw the Nurse Practitioner. I've never been fond of seeing Nurse Practitioners. It's nothing personal. It has just always been my experience that they examine me and then require me to come in again to see the doctor. If I had known I'd only be seen by the NP, I would have waited.
She looked at the lump, felt it and said it just appeared to be a split abdominal muscle. However, since I was tender from the left side to the middle she ordered an ultrasound. Unfortunately, they couldn't get me in for an ultrasound until after I returned from my planned trip to Indiana.
After a wonderful trip and a great experience at the Louisville Temple with my sister, parents, aunts and uncles, the time finally rolled around for my ultrasound. On Wednesday, October 24, 2007, I had an ultrasound done at Dr Show's office.
The Ultrasound technician did an intravaginal ultrasound. OUCH! While I was laying on the table, the ultrasound tech said that both of my tubes were filled with fluid, a condition called "Hydrosalpinx". Then she said, "You won't have any more children without doing IVF."
WHAT? I suppose she assumed that because I have 5 children that she could just drop this news on me without softening it any way. But it really came as a HUGE shock and a great disappointment. We had been trying to conceive #6 as we KNEW .... or at least thought we knew ... that there was one more child to come to our family.
On Thursday, October 25th, I saw Dr. Shows to review the tests results. She confirmed that with hydrosalpinx my only hope for getting pregnant would be to have the assistance of a fertility specialists. She gave me the name of a dr whose office is within a mile from my home.
She also pushed and prodded on the lump. It hurt. She thought it might be a hernia and recommended that I see a surgeon.
After leaving her office, I felt very confused. Why did Dwight and I both receive the personal revelation that we were to have one more child if that was not an option? The thought came that perhaps we needed to adopt, but it really just didn't seem to be the answer. I decided I would continue to pray about it as I needed to understand whether we had misunderstood the personal revelation, or if something had changed, or if the Lord just had something special in mind for our family.
Unfortunately, Dr. Shows was unavailable and so I saw the Nurse Practitioner. I've never been fond of seeing Nurse Practitioners. It's nothing personal. It has just always been my experience that they examine me and then require me to come in again to see the doctor. If I had known I'd only be seen by the NP, I would have waited.
She looked at the lump, felt it and said it just appeared to be a split abdominal muscle. However, since I was tender from the left side to the middle she ordered an ultrasound. Unfortunately, they couldn't get me in for an ultrasound until after I returned from my planned trip to Indiana.
After a wonderful trip and a great experience at the Louisville Temple with my sister, parents, aunts and uncles, the time finally rolled around for my ultrasound. On Wednesday, October 24, 2007, I had an ultrasound done at Dr Show's office.
The Ultrasound technician did an intravaginal ultrasound. OUCH! While I was laying on the table, the ultrasound tech said that both of my tubes were filled with fluid, a condition called "Hydrosalpinx". Then she said, "You won't have any more children without doing IVF."
WHAT? I suppose she assumed that because I have 5 children that she could just drop this news on me without softening it any way. But it really came as a HUGE shock and a great disappointment. We had been trying to conceive #6 as we KNEW .... or at least thought we knew ... that there was one more child to come to our family.
On Thursday, October 25th, I saw Dr. Shows to review the tests results. She confirmed that with hydrosalpinx my only hope for getting pregnant would be to have the assistance of a fertility specialists. She gave me the name of a dr whose office is within a mile from my home.
She also pushed and prodded on the lump. It hurt. She thought it might be a hernia and recommended that I see a surgeon.
After leaving her office, I felt very confused. Why did Dwight and I both receive the personal revelation that we were to have one more child if that was not an option? The thought came that perhaps we needed to adopt, but it really just didn't seem to be the answer. I decided I would continue to pray about it as I needed to understand whether we had misunderstood the personal revelation, or if something had changed, or if the Lord just had something special in mind for our family.
Labels:
Health
Friday, March 31, 2006
Trip to Indiana
In March the kids and I went to Indiana to visit my family for 3 weeks. A week after we got there, we received a call to let us know that my Aunt Glaydell was in the hospital and wasn’t expected to survive the weekend. 
Since both of my parents come from large families, it is not an unusual occurrence to visit relatives in the hospital or to attend funerals. However, this one had a twist. I haven’t seen Glaydell in 21 years. Let me give you a little background….
Glaydell was married to my Uncle Warner. (I have a hard time using the title Uncle for him, but to simplify the explanation, I’ll call him my Uncle.) Warner did many horrific things to his family and to others. He was eventually convicted of several counts of child molestation and several counts of rape. He has been in a maximum security prison for the past 20 years or so. I was a witness to and a victim of some of these horrific acts as well as others.
So, when the call came, I had very mixed feelings about the news. Since my mother certainly didn’t want to go to the hospital, I decided to go with my Dad so that he wouldn’t have to go alone. I wasn’t sure how I would feel seeing Glaydell or her children who were sure to be there. I have some pretty bad memories of Glaydell and of a few of the other children. In fact, I only have 1 or 2 memories of anything pleasant regarding their family. I'm not sure that was always the case. I suspect that many of my negative feelings developed over the years as I distanced myself from their family. Anyway ...
As we walked into the room at the hospital, it was a very sad scene. Two of her daughters were sitting at her bedside holding her hands. Glaydell seemed to be completely unaware of things going on around her, or at least unable to react. One of her daughters stood up beside her and told her that my Dad and I were there to see her. The daughter invited us, “Come up. She likes to have her hand held.” My Dad went up to say Hi, but I could not bring myself to speak or to touch her.
As we sat in the ICU room and my Dad spoke to the daughters, my vision of these 3 women changed. I no longer saw the people who were involved in my most painful childhood memories. My eyes were opened to see them as children of God who were trying desperately to deal with their own struggles and traumas in their lives.
I left the hospital that night feeling blessed that Heavenly Father had helped me so much in my life.
The next day, my Dad had been asked to go to their home to help with the funeral arrangements. Again, not wanting my father to go alone, I offered to go with him. The thought of this visit made me even more uncomfortable. They still lived in the same house where all of the atrocities had occurred. I wasn’t sure what to expect. Would I experience a flood of memories? Would I feel like the little girl who was scared and hurt again? Would I want to run away?
As we walked up to the house, I recalled the trailer that sat in the driveway for years. And, I recalled the door with all the cigarette butts surrounding it. Both of these were gone, and in their place sat a porch swing and a flower bed.
When we entered the home, it was still very cluttered and messy, but it no longer had the same stench or wicked spirit about it. As we talked with the daughters of the funeral plans, in walked a man named Jim.
Jim was one of my Uncle’s older children. And, I had really lumped him in with his father as the scum of the earth. Again, I have not seen this person in 20+ years, but he immediately recognized me. I put out my hand to shake his hand, but he hugged me. I felt very awkward with the hug. But, very quickly the same feeling that had come over me at the hospital happened again with Jim.
For what I suspect was the first time, I saw Jim as a child of God. I became very aware that Heavenly Father knew him by name, was aware of all the things he had experienced in his life, and was aware of all that was in his heart. I became very aware that Heavenly Father wanted Jim to return to Him as much as He wants me to return to Him.
Then as we were leaving Jim and one of the daughters were walking us out to our car. We stood in the driveway talking for a few minutes of their father’s upcoming release from prison. In the course of the conversation, Jim’s eyes looked far away from us, as he said, “No one knows of the beatings I took trying to protect others.” My heart felt like it would burst. Did he take a beating to protect me? The comment certainly wasn’t made to me or said to make anyone feel anything. Yet in that moment, I felt a real debt of gratitude to him. And, then my mind went to the Atonement.
James Faust, a member of the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints said, "The overwhelming message of the Atonement is the perfect love the Savior has for each and all of us. It is a love which is full of mercy, patience, grace, equity, long-suffering, and, above all, forgiving. Some injuries are so hurtful and deep that they cannot be healed without help from a higher power and hope for perfect justice and restitution in the next life. Since the Savior has suffered anything and everything that we could ever feel or experience, He can help the weak to become stronger. He has personally experienced all of it. He understands our pain and will walk with us even in our darkest hours."
I know that it is truly through the Atonement that we can be healed from our deepest hurts. I am overwhelmed and in awe of His love for me, and for Jim, and for Glaydell, and for each and every one of us. He truly loves us and will walk with us even in our darkest hours.
Since both of my parents come from large families, it is not an unusual occurrence to visit relatives in the hospital or to attend funerals. However, this one had a twist. I haven’t seen Glaydell in 21 years. Let me give you a little background….Glaydell was married to my Uncle Warner. (I have a hard time using the title Uncle for him, but to simplify the explanation, I’ll call him my Uncle.) Warner did many horrific things to his family and to others. He was eventually convicted of several counts of child molestation and several counts of rape. He has been in a maximum security prison for the past 20 years or so. I was a witness to and a victim of some of these horrific acts as well as others.
So, when the call came, I had very mixed feelings about the news. Since my mother certainly didn’t want to go to the hospital, I decided to go with my Dad so that he wouldn’t have to go alone. I wasn’t sure how I would feel seeing Glaydell or her children who were sure to be there. I have some pretty bad memories of Glaydell and of a few of the other children. In fact, I only have 1 or 2 memories of anything pleasant regarding their family. I'm not sure that was always the case. I suspect that many of my negative feelings developed over the years as I distanced myself from their family. Anyway ...
As we walked into the room at the hospital, it was a very sad scene. Two of her daughters were sitting at her bedside holding her hands. Glaydell seemed to be completely unaware of things going on around her, or at least unable to react. One of her daughters stood up beside her and told her that my Dad and I were there to see her. The daughter invited us, “Come up. She likes to have her hand held.” My Dad went up to say Hi, but I could not bring myself to speak or to touch her.
As we sat in the ICU room and my Dad spoke to the daughters, my vision of these 3 women changed. I no longer saw the people who were involved in my most painful childhood memories. My eyes were opened to see them as children of God who were trying desperately to deal with their own struggles and traumas in their lives.
I left the hospital that night feeling blessed that Heavenly Father had helped me so much in my life.
The next day, my Dad had been asked to go to their home to help with the funeral arrangements. Again, not wanting my father to go alone, I offered to go with him. The thought of this visit made me even more uncomfortable. They still lived in the same house where all of the atrocities had occurred. I wasn’t sure what to expect. Would I experience a flood of memories? Would I feel like the little girl who was scared and hurt again? Would I want to run away?
As we walked up to the house, I recalled the trailer that sat in the driveway for years. And, I recalled the door with all the cigarette butts surrounding it. Both of these were gone, and in their place sat a porch swing and a flower bed.
When we entered the home, it was still very cluttered and messy, but it no longer had the same stench or wicked spirit about it. As we talked with the daughters of the funeral plans, in walked a man named Jim.
Jim was one of my Uncle’s older children. And, I had really lumped him in with his father as the scum of the earth. Again, I have not seen this person in 20+ years, but he immediately recognized me. I put out my hand to shake his hand, but he hugged me. I felt very awkward with the hug. But, very quickly the same feeling that had come over me at the hospital happened again with Jim.
For what I suspect was the first time, I saw Jim as a child of God. I became very aware that Heavenly Father knew him by name, was aware of all the things he had experienced in his life, and was aware of all that was in his heart. I became very aware that Heavenly Father wanted Jim to return to Him as much as He wants me to return to Him.
Then as we were leaving Jim and one of the daughters were walking us out to our car. We stood in the driveway talking for a few minutes of their father’s upcoming release from prison. In the course of the conversation, Jim’s eyes looked far away from us, as he said, “No one knows of the beatings I took trying to protect others.” My heart felt like it would burst. Did he take a beating to protect me? The comment certainly wasn’t made to me or said to make anyone feel anything. Yet in that moment, I felt a real debt of gratitude to him. And, then my mind went to the Atonement.
James Faust, a member of the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints said, "The overwhelming message of the Atonement is the perfect love the Savior has for each and all of us. It is a love which is full of mercy, patience, grace, equity, long-suffering, and, above all, forgiving. Some injuries are so hurtful and deep that they cannot be healed without help from a higher power and hope for perfect justice and restitution in the next life. Since the Savior has suffered anything and everything that we could ever feel or experience, He can help the weak to become stronger. He has personally experienced all of it. He understands our pain and will walk with us even in our darkest hours."
I know that it is truly through the Atonement that we can be healed from our deepest hurts. I am overwhelmed and in awe of His love for me, and for Jim, and for Glaydell, and for each and every one of us. He truly loves us and will walk with us even in our darkest hours.
Saturday, May 17, 2003
Friday, May 16, 2003
Thursday, May 15, 2003
Tuesday, April 15, 2003
Pictures from 2003
David took speech lessons at a Plano elementary school. Mrs Richardson was a very sweet teacher.
One of the kids' favorite places to go was Chuck E Cheese. We had lots of fun days there!
This is one of David's self-portraits.
One of the kids' favorite places to go was Chuck E Cheese. We had lots of fun days there!
This is one of David's self-portraits.
Friday, February 14, 2003
Sweet Siblings
This is a cute little Valentine's Day card that Jessica gave David. She also made one for Johnathon & Jacob. I just can't find them.
Friday, November 15, 2002
Tuesday, December 11, 2001
Wednesday, October 31, 2001
Saturday, September 15, 2001
Friday, June 1, 2001
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