Silence

Tonight I found this quote in my files:

"I have seen so many people mistake silence for courage, with terrible results, when the real courage would have been not to remain silent." ~Unknown

I think it is profound as I have often felt that my voice was stuck in my throat. That might surprise some of you.

Words

This past Tuesday, my son’s nurse, Nelda, and I were on our way with Ryan, my 4 year old son to see his therapists. As we were driving on Huebner Road talking to each other, I heard a very clear “Mom” from the back of our silver minivan. It sounded like the voice of a typical 4 year old.

I swerved a bit as I whipped my head around in astonishment, my eyes catching Nelda’s eyes. The look on her face reassured me that she had also heard the same clear “Mom” and it wasn’t my imagination. It might not surprise some women to hear “Mom” while driving their minivans, and had I had any of my other five children in my car, it wouldn’t have surprised me either. However, Ryan isn’t a typical 4 year old. He has never called me “Mom” before Tuesday.

He is classified on insurance papers as “non-verbal.” Of course, anyone who has attended Sacrament meeting with Ryan would disagree with that statement! He has a beautiful dove call that he makes when he’s happy, a dolphin clicking noise that we haven’t decoded yet, a purring sound that he makes when he’s content, and he can roll his tongue with the best of the Spanish speakers in all of Texas. And, now, he can say, “Mom!”

Imagine

In case I didn't tell you personally, Ryan said Mom ... not Mmmmm..... or Maaaaa.... but MOM yesterday. And, not just once, he said it FOUR TIMES. Next time you hear the word, Mom, imagine that.

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way Home...

I received a call from the school today that Deborah was in the clinic with a tummy ache. So, like a good Mom I rushed to the school to pick her up, and being a real Mom, I was hoping that if she was going to throw up that maybe she'd go ahead and do it at the school, before I arrived.

As soon as we walked out of the school, it was questionable whether she was really sick. She was talking 1,000 words per minute almost running to the car. Then she wanted to go to Sonic for lunch. When I denied her request, she asked for White Castles. Hmmm, definitely not sounding like a tummy ache.

I questioned whether I had made the right decision to rush to the school to pick her up. Maybe I should have encouraged the school to feed her lunch and send her back to class. Then the best conversation happened.

She was asking me why we can't eat out whenever she wants. So, I explained that Daddy works hard to earn money so that he can pay our bills and we shouldn't just waste the money that Daddy works hard to earn. She thought it would be nice if Daddy could just work every day but Sunday and get lots and lots of money. I explained that I thought it would be nice if Daddy could be home every night and on weekends, AND still have all the money we need to do the things Heavenly Father wants us to do.

She said, "Yea, but it would take him a long time to get here every night." I explained that some Dads do come home every night after work, like at 5 o'clock. She said:

"Wow! They must have a faster plane than Dad's!"



I'm still laughing...

Best Thing From Church

My favorite quote from Church today: 

"He wants nothing more than for us to return to live with Him.  

It's the happiest thing I've ever heard."

~Jacob Andrus, 18 years old

Johnathon

Johnathon, Deborah and I visited the play center waiting room at the hospital on Saturday morning.  Johnathon had a lot of fun playing with the Wedgits. 

Annual Hospital Visit?

I thought we might make it through this spring season without what seems to be Ryan's annual hospital trip.  However, Ryan was having problems with his breathing on Thursday.  We kept him on oxygen all day Thursday and all night.  Where there hadn't been any improvement on Friday morning and he seemed to be working hard to breathe, even with supplemental oxygen, I made the decision to take him to the Emergency Room. I spoke with his primary care physician and he agreed that it was the best plan of action.  He was leaving town that afternoon and thus he made sure that I had his cell phone number so that I could reach him if I needed anything and so that I could keep him up to date.  Do you see how blessed we are?

After being in the Emergency Room for a while, we found out that he had Enterovirus and Rhinovirus.  For most of us, that's just the common cold.  Nothing serious. For Ryan, however, it can get serious.  The chest xrays showed that the lungs were surprisingly clear, but he was essentially drowning in his secretions.  Unfortunately for Ryan that meant we had to do some deep suctioning.  If you don't know what that means, imagine a vacuum cleaner with a skinny hose.  Then stick the hose down your throat or up your nose to suck all the gunk out of your body.  Not fun.

The attending physician was going to send him home since we have supplemental oxygen at home and the ability to do suction,   However, Ryan's respiration rate was so high that she was concerned that he might just tire out and so she decided she needed to admit him.  So we spent one night at Pedi and thankfully we had one of our favorite doctors there.  He had some great advice and referred us to the best two Pulmonologists in our area.  They are expecting my call and took my cell phone number so that if they don't hear from me, they can call me.  Nice, right?  Hopefully, we can find out what we need to do to strengthening Ryan's lungs.

In the meantime, I'm sure thankful for pulse ox monitors, portable oxygen machines, nurses, doctors, even suction machines ... although they are definitely not my favorite thing to use.  I'm really thankful for all the kind people on our team.  I am so thankful for all the resources that Heavenly Father provides to make this journey a little easier and more joyful.

Anchors

As many of you know, I am taking a couple of college classes through Brigham Young University Idaho.  This past week for my Foundations of Religion Course 122, we studied the Book of Ether from the Book of Mormon.  It's one of my favorite sections of the Book of Mormon.  If you've read my blog for a while, you've heard me talk of it before.  It is the story of the Jaredites.

Each week we are required to participate in a discussion board.  This is meant to simulate the classroom discussions that we of course miss out on when doing an online classroom.  When I first started the classes, I thought the discussion boards would be rather lame.  However, I have found that they can be really wonderful.  Some people put more effort into their contributions than other people.  Of course, that's true in an actual classroom as well.

This week I asked permission from one of my classmates, Shannon Lowman, to share her post.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.  First, let me share with you the verse she references:

Wherefore, whoso believeth in God 

might with surety hope for a better world, 

yea, even a place at the right hand of God,

which hope cometh of faith, 

maketh an anchor to the souls of men,

which would make them sure and steadfast,

always abounding in good works,

being led to glorify God.

"A single word in Chapter 12 (verse 4) jumped out at me: "anchor".  It is such a visual word.  I live in San Diego, home to numerous shipyards.  If you've ever seen an anchor ... I mean, a real anchor .. not just a flimsy motor boat anchor, but one that can stop a ship, it is a memorable sight.  The USS Enterprise, an aircraft carrier, has two anchors, each weighing 32 tons!  But the strength and security of the ship is not just dependent on its anchor, but rather what it is anchored to!  "The anchor prevents a ship from drifting away due to the water currents or tide. A popular misconception is that the anchor itself acts as the main weight to "secure" the ship in its position. On an anchoring run, the ship would lay the anchor together with a length of its iron cables on the seabed.... it is not the weight of the anchor, but the weight of the huge iron cables connected to the anchor that "secures" the ship." (wikianswers.com)  Elder Richard G. Scott said in Conference 1993, "Anchor your life in Jesus Christ, your Redeemer.  Make your Eternal Father and His Beloved Son the most important priority in your life--more important than life itself, more important than a beloved companion or children or anyone on earth.  Make their will your central desire.  Then all that you need for happiness will come to you."  Our security comes, not from how strong we are, but from the immobility of what we are anchored to.  Elder Scott assures us that everything else will fall into place when we are properly anchored to the Rock of our Redeemer."

Thank you, Shannon, for saying it so beautifully and for letting me share it!

I hope we will all anchor our lives to Jesus Christ that we may enjoy the security and strength that will come from being anchored to the Rock of our Redeemer!  Happy Easter!

Cough, cough

The nurse texted me on Friday morning while I was at an appointment to say:  "Mrs, Tina, no fever, pulse ox 95% or better & color is good ... normal HR, concerned about the definite wheezing & diminished breath sounds in right lung & he's tummy breathing.... changed his position & gave 4 puffs of inhaler, very little change in breath sounds."  This was unsettling since we were already on day 7 of antibiotics (Augmentin) for a respiratory and ear infection.

So, I scheduled an appointment with the Doctor and thankfully he was able to get us right for an exam.  He agreed with the nurse's assessment and sent us for chest x-rays.  The radiologist saw chest infiltrates and sent back a diagnosis of Bronchial Pneumonia.  He gave Ryan a large dose of another antibiotic, Rocephin, a prescription for Azithromycin, and suggested we use the Ventolin inhaler 3-4 puffs ever 3-4 hours and a probiotic. 

On Saturday, Ryan pretty much slept all day long.  When he'd wake up, he'd cough and then cry.  It was obvious from the cry that he was in pain. 

This morning I was woke up by an early morning phone call.  It was the doctor's office.  They wanted to know if we could bring Ryan in to see the doctor on call.  Our doctor had asked her to see Ryan this morning to check him to make sure he was getting better.  Isn't that great?  That is one of the reasons I think he's so great!  And, the good news... Ryan's lungs did sound better today.  Yeah!

We are, of course, to stay the course.  Finish the antibiotics, protect him while his immune system is especially vulnerable and watch for any signs of deterioration. 

I am SO thankful for good men and women who dedicate so much time to providing good care to families.  I know they make sacrifices.  And, I'm thankful for all the modern technologies and medicines that allow us to treat things that used to take the lives of loved ones.  Counting my blessings.

Great Quote

Today 

is the 

PERFECT

day

for a

PERFECT

day

Oxygen

I'm so thankful for the ability to have a pulse ox monitor and oxygen at home.  Tonight it saved us from having to go to the hospital.   So, we'll get through the night and see the doctor tomorrow morning just to make sure there's nothing that needs to be treated.

Guys Today

What do you call guys today?  You know the ones that we might have called cute or handsome in my day? (That'd be the 80's, in case you're wondering.)  They're too old to call adorable and I don't think "sharp" is how I would describe them ... at least not this time.  I'm not their age so I'm pretty sure it'd be REALLY CREEPY if I called them "smokin'" or "hot."  In fact, I feel weird even typing that. 

I'm not sure what to call these boys. I don't want to insult these guys.  So, I'll just say they have IT.  They have what Moms liked in the guys they dated a gazillion years ago.  Good looking, great sense of humor, fun, polite, dress well, and just plain cool.... Oh, and a really important one ... really good with parents.  (That's big!)

So, Tuesday night three of these guys with IT showed up at our house and one was carrying a door.  To understand why they brought a door to our house, you have to know that the theme to the local high school prom is Titanic.  (Still not understanding why the door?  Near the end of the movie, Titanic, Jack and Rose were floating on a door.)  Long story short, one of these guys with IT asked Jessica to prom by bringing over a door.  Cool, right?

A great quote

I saw this quote on the back of a t-shirt...

He will catch me 

when I fall,

or He will teach me

how to fly.

Isn't that great?  I love it!

 

Animals

Ryan's class has been learning about animals at school.

Ryan did not seem to enjoy being an elephant.

Let It Go

Tonight I'm finishing lesson preparations for tomorrow's Relief Society class.  I'm leading the discussion on "Of You It is Required to Forgive."  I started preparing this lesson during mid November and so I've had lots of time to ponder the subject.

For Christmas I received a book that I've been wanting to read called, "Let It Go" by Chris Williams.  You can watch an interview about his story.  Just click here. 

There are many profound truths about forgiveness in this book.  But one really stuck out to me tonight.  I won't tell you the full story behind the statement as I hope you'll read the full book.  I just want to share this thought with you. 

He says of an experience that had happened much earlier in his life, "I could see what I had allowed the Lord to make of my life because of what I experienced.  I could stop wondering, Why was this allowed to happen to me at such a young age?, and instead I could start detailing what Christ was able to make of my life and who He was able to bless through me because that [it] was allowed to happen."

Have you had an experience like that in your life?  Something that you wondered why it was allowed to happen to you?  What if, instead of questioning why it happened, you were to detail what Christ was able to make of your life and who He was able to bless through you because of what happened? 

The New Look for Ryan

On December 4, the morning started as usual.  It was great. Ryan was in a good mood.  Then we went to therapy.  I didn't go back with him, but the nurse did.  He has a great therapy team that I trust.  When I came back to pick him up there was an obvious tone of concern in the nurse's voice and she said they needed me to come back.  As soon as I heard Ryan I knew something was wrong.  The PT said, I needed to get him to the Dr's and see what was going on with his hip.  She thought it had come out of the socket.  His right leg was having spasms.  He was in obvious pain.  His cry was one of definite pain.  So, I picked him up and we took him to the van.  As soon as we got him loaded, I started driving toward the dr's office, which is located near the hospital as well.  She said she'd meet us at the hospital.


At the hospital they did x-rays.  The ER doc first came in and said the right hip was fine. Then a minute later she came looking quite shocked and said, "But, the left femur has a complete fracture."  Then she took me to see this picture:

I added the square to cover his privates.  It just seemed a little weird to post them on my blog.  :)

Within an hour, they had Ryan in the operating room.  They used pressure "blocks" to cast his leg back into place.  They did not pin it.  He will spend the next 6 weeks in this Spica cast.  He'll need to be rotated every 2-3 hours, around the clock.  The cast goes all the way up to his chest, is open on the tummy for his mic-key button, and open in the diaper area ... for obvious reasons.  As you can see below, it goes to his toes on the left leg and to his knee on the right.  The bar between the legs is not a carrying handle as Dwight would have you believe.  It's a stability bar.

Well, here we go... I'll blog more when I wake up...

So...

Go, Ryan!

Look what Ryan did today!

Do you see that smile?

This stuff is exhausting!

Ryan

Ryan's nurse caught Ryan working hard at school.  This is super awesome!  You might notice in this that his teacher, Mrs. V, is just barely supporting him at the lower back.  If you watch really closely, you can also see that he's engaging his arms to support himself and he's really using his right arm especially on the floor. 

I hope you enjoy this as much as I did!

Hmmm... Is there a way to turn a video?  I don't know.  Well, I guess you'll just have to lie down to watch it.  ;)

Bloomin' Flowers

This morning I went to the Temple to help plant flowers.  I really know nothing about how to plant flowers and thought it would be a great opportunity to learn.  I worked under the supervision of the nicest lady, Sue.  She was very kind in teaching me how to do things.  We made a great pair. 

We planted  Liberty Rose Pink Snapdragons, Clear Crystal White Alyssums, Blue Pansies, and Peacock Red Flowering Kale.  We also planted some yellow flowers, but I don't remember what they were.  Sometime I'll have to take a picture of the flower beds that I worked on and post it here.  The Temples always have such beautiful flowers.  I'm glad I had the chance to work on them. 

Prayer

If you have read my blog before you probably already know that I believe in the power of prayer.  I know many of you also believe in the power of prayer.  Well, this past Monday I was (once again) taught a lesson on prayer. 

For the past few weeks, I have struggled to figure out how I would solve what seemed to me to be a very difficult problem.  I needed to figure out a ride for Jessica and David to an activity and 45 minutes later Deborah and Johnathon need to be some place else, and I still need to manage Ryan's needs as well.  From the very first time I prayed about it Carol's name came to mind.  Well, that didn't make any sense.  Carol doesn't have any children.

I kept praying about it and thinking through the problem.  Every time I prayed about it, Carol came to mind.  Every time I thought about it, Carol came to mind.  That was confusing.  Why would I be thinking of Carol?  She's a great lady, but all of her kids are grown ups. 

By the weekend before I had to resolve the issue, I had even considered crazy options like having all 5 get completely ready to go and taking them all with me when I drop off David and Jessica.  And, even crazier options.

Well, Monday finally rolled around and I had to have this resolved by Tuesday morning.  I was sure I wasn't getting any answers to my prayers.  Nothing.  But, I prayed yet again.  Sometimes we just have to pray more diligently, right?  And, again with the Carol answer.

So, I waited a few hours and summoned up all my courage and called Carol.  I explained how I really didn't understand why she was the answer but perhaps she'd have some good advice since she had raised several kids.  I briefly explained our situation and then she said, "Well, I can just take your kids."

She made it sound so easy!  Let me tell you:  I sobbed.  I sobbed because the whole time I was fretting and stressing about this problem, Heavenly Father had been lovingly giving me the answer over and over again.  But, I hadn't been listening.  I had been unable to identify His voice.  I had been so busy trying to solve my own problem that I had listened to Him and He had already solved my problem for me.

It's made me wonder how many times I do that in my life?  Are there other times when I busy myself solving my own problems when I could just turn them over to Him?

I'm so grateful to Him for being persistent and patient.  I'm so grateful for Carol's help!  What a huge blessing!  I hope you all have people like Carol in your life.