Bloomin' Flowers

This morning I went to the Temple to help plant flowers.  I really know nothing about how to plant flowers and thought it would be a great opportunity to learn.  I worked under the supervision of the nicest lady, Sue.  She was very kind in teaching me how to do things.  We made a great pair. 

We planted  Liberty Rose Pink Snapdragons, Clear Crystal White Alyssums, Blue Pansies, and Peacock Red Flowering Kale.  We also planted some yellow flowers, but I don't remember what they were.  Sometime I'll have to take a picture of the flower beds that I worked on and post it here.  The Temples always have such beautiful flowers.  I'm glad I had the chance to work on them. 

Prayer

If you have read my blog before you probably already know that I believe in the power of prayer.  I know many of you also believe in the power of prayer.  Well, this past Monday I was (once again) taught a lesson on prayer. 

For the past few weeks, I have struggled to figure out how I would solve what seemed to me to be a very difficult problem.  I needed to figure out a ride for Jessica and David to an activity and 45 minutes later Deborah and Johnathon need to be some place else, and I still need to manage Ryan's needs as well.  From the very first time I prayed about it Carol's name came to mind.  Well, that didn't make any sense.  Carol doesn't have any children.

I kept praying about it and thinking through the problem.  Every time I prayed about it, Carol came to mind.  Every time I thought about it, Carol came to mind.  That was confusing.  Why would I be thinking of Carol?  She's a great lady, but all of her kids are grown ups. 

By the weekend before I had to resolve the issue, I had even considered crazy options like having all 5 get completely ready to go and taking them all with me when I drop off David and Jessica.  And, even crazier options.

Well, Monday finally rolled around and I had to have this resolved by Tuesday morning.  I was sure I wasn't getting any answers to my prayers.  Nothing.  But, I prayed yet again.  Sometimes we just have to pray more diligently, right?  And, again with the Carol answer.

So, I waited a few hours and summoned up all my courage and called Carol.  I explained how I really didn't understand why she was the answer but perhaps she'd have some good advice since she had raised several kids.  I briefly explained our situation and then she said, "Well, I can just take your kids."

She made it sound so easy!  Let me tell you:  I sobbed.  I sobbed because the whole time I was fretting and stressing about this problem, Heavenly Father had been lovingly giving me the answer over and over again.  But, I hadn't been listening.  I had been unable to identify His voice.  I had been so busy trying to solve my own problem that I had listened to Him and He had already solved my problem for me.

It's made me wonder how many times I do that in my life?  Are there other times when I busy myself solving my own problems when I could just turn them over to Him?

I'm so grateful to Him for being persistent and patient.  I'm so grateful for Carol's help!  What a huge blessing!  I hope you all have people like Carol in your life.

Great Friends

Johnathon was invited to go with his good friend today to the corn maze.  

They had a great time!  

We are so thankful for good friends!

Good News from Houston

There were several bright spots for this trip.  First, they ditched the barium enemas during the CT's.  That was a welcome relief!  I met some amazing people with miraculous stories.  And, I dodge all biopsies!  Most spots have not grown at all except for the spots on my thyroid.  Those have grown some but are still rather small and they appear to be benign.  Yay!  However, my lymphoma doc is referring me to another department for a consultation within the next 2 weeks.

And, there's more good news... After reviewing some new research and my records they decided not to do maintenance chemo.  Recent research shows that "it doesn't increase survivability rates," especially for patients with refractory lymphoma, like me.  And, it has some risks that the doctor felt made it so that the risks do not outweigh the benefits.


In case you don't know, "survivability rate" is a term that oncologists throw around way too easily.  My cancer is a very survivable cancer.  It sounds much scarier in this case than it really is.  And, refractory lymphoma, just means that my lymphoma has been treated once, and has come back.

So, thank you all for thinking of me, your prayers, your love and support.  I am very blessed to have so many great friends and such a wonderful family!  

A Journal Post

Life has been crazy busy recently and I feel like I've been neglecting to do updates.  So, I thought I'd do a journal style post.  You know the journal entry where you try to catch up on the last 10 months all in one page?  Or, am I the only one who kept a journal that way?  :)

Many of you know that I put all the kids into public school this year, and some of you have been asking how it's going.  Thanks to some great advice the school year started very smoothly.  If I had to pick just one tip as the most helpful, I'd probably say it was when one of our new friends recommended laying out an entire week's worth of outfits for the younger ones.  Since public school requires the little ones to be up more than 2 hours earlier than before, it helps when they can just drag their sleepy selves into their closets and choose from pre-selected outfits.  Deborah adores her teacher, is "getting used to" classmates, but has made quite a few friends, really dislikes music time, loves art, and is very invested in getting her daily smiley faces from the teacher.  Johnathon is enjoying the academic side of things and is making great grades. I worried a lot about his handwriting skills, but they have improved significantly since starting school. He has struggled a little with figuring out the playground system and seems to be getting a handle on it now.  David found his lunch table immediately and is really enjoying latin club.  He is also in the high school's first play of the season.  So, he's busy and very happy.  Jessica is a senior this year and just anxious to be done.  Ryan is back in Mrs. V's class again and loves it.  He has a new Physical Therapist at the school who seems to be trying some new equipment with him. The same Vision, Occupational, and Hearing Therapists as last year continue to work with him.  They are all really fantastic!  So, we're very lucky that way!

Overall, I'm very pleased with how things are going.  I think the schools have a nice balance on how much homework they are sending.  I think the extracurricular activities at the high school level are WAY too time consuming, but other than that, I'm content.

BUT.... if I could traditionally home school, it would still be my preference.  Why?  For all the same reasons that I did it before.  I'm thankful that we live in a good school district where I feel comfortable sending my kids to school and I'm especially thankful that they have good teachers and good people in their lives. I feel comfortable ... well, only because I know I have done what is best for them at this time.  It was tough, and is still tough to have them gone all day.  I enjoy having my children around.  I enjoy learning with them. I enjoy their company.  I like them. 

 I might miss them, if I had time to miss them.  I have been asked several times what I'm doing with "all my free time."  Well, folks, the reason I put my kids in school was because I was severely over-scheduled and even with them in school, I have only managed to squeak out a few hours of free time in the past month. During that time, the first time, I cleaned my house for 4 hours.  The second time I went to the pool by myself and floated on the water for an hour in total peace.  And, the third time, I went to a friend's house and visited with her a few hours.  All three times it was really wonderful! 

So, you might ask what's keeping me so busy?  Most of you can probably guess.  Ryan's appointments, my appointments, the stacks of neglected paperwork, and my school work.

Ryan is mostly stable right now, thankfully.  He has not been seizing lately. I've been asked why. We haven't changed his medicine since that awful spell in November of last year, except to add a mid-day dose of the Lamictal.  Maybe it's the right medicine combination.  Maybe he's growing out of the seizures.  Maybe it's the blenderized whole foods diet.  Maybe it's a combination of all three.  Or, maybe it's just a tender mercy of the Lord.  I would prefer to attribute it to the latter.  Maybe due to His tender mercy He provided all that we needed in the way of medicines, the Doctors, the Doctors' intelligences, the knowledge for the diet, etc in order to help right.  However, we look at it, I can see God's hand in this miracle.  I'm sure you can, too.

After the most recent hospital visit for Ryan, which was due to low oxygen levels, we received new equipment at home for Ryan.  A few days after it was delivered it occurred to me that having oxygen delivered to our house, an oxygen concentrator, and a pulse oximeter really didn't even seem strange to me and that it probably should at least seem a little odd, or something.  It just seemed normal.  That is until I had to use it on Ryan. 

The Oxygen Concentrator

 There's really nothing normal about having a pulse oximeter attached to your 4 year old at home, and there's definitely nothing normal about being startled out of bed several times during the night to a loud noise that means his oxygen level is too low.  And, it really isn't normal to attach a nasal cannula to your child in middle of the night so that they can get their oxygen level back into the 90's.  But, it sure beats the heck out of rushing to the hospital, being stuck their for a minimum of 24 hours, and having Ryan pocked several times for mandatory blood work "just to be safe."  I'm thankful it's an option to have it in our home, as odd as it might be to have to use it.

The plan when I put the kids in school was to use the time to get caught up on stuff, take care of Ryan's medical stuff, my medical stuff, and do my school work.  One of the challenges I'm running into is that I'm spending far too much time doing my kids' chores.  They are gone for the majority of the day and the older kids have so much homework that I have struggled to figure out how much responsibility is fair.  I think I've leaned too far in the direction of leniency and now no one is even helping with chores.  So, those of you with kids in school, how do you do it?  Especially high school kids?  Are you the only one who cleans your house?  I've had someone suggest hiring someone to come in once a week, but right now we just have too many medical bills and besides it doesn't teach our children the responsibility. I really love the idea of serving my family, but I don't think I should be their servant.  I think there is a difference. 

As for college, I am loving it and this week I have at times wondered if I should have waited a little while longer to go back.  I am only take two classes -- just six credit hours.  I love the people I attend class with on Thursday night.  I love the subjects we are studying.  I am anxious to continue.  On the other hand, this week it has felt overwhelming to fit it into the schedule.  It has been hard to focus and to do my very best.  It has caused me to wonder if I was being selfish in going back right now.  

BUT ...
Here's what I know ... I know Heavenly Father asked me to go back and finish my degree. I know He led me to this specific path, and thus I know He can prepare a path for me to do it.  So, I will work hard to cheerfully do all the good that is required of me so that I can see the miracles that He will work in my life.

Have you had times like that in your life?  Times when you have had to just act in faith knowing that if you pushed through He would work miracles.  I know it works because I have seen it in my life before.  So, I'm counting on it again.

Melt My Heart

Ryan had a dentist appointment today.  While we were sitting in the waiting room, I was snuggling with him on my lap.  You can imagine it.  I was sitting in the typical waiting room chair with Ryan, who is now more than 3 feet tall, sitting to the side.  So, his right side was leaning against my chest.  His head was leaning on my shoulder. 

And, that's when it happened...

He took his left arm and reached up to my shoulder and HUGGED me!

Ryan HUGGED me!

It wasn't just a little slight move of his hand.  It was a full on HUG.

It melted this mom's heart.

Best. Picture. Ever.

Thank you, Mrs. V, for The. Best. Picture. Ever. (of Ryan)!

Day 1: Whew... Success.

We made it through the first day of school! And, the best part ... everyone, me included, had a GREAT day! Whew! Jessica wasn't thrilled to take pictures this morning, but she at least let me snap one quick picture before school.

David worked hard to give me a "mildly interested" look, until he had to sneeze. The sneeze made for a really funny picture, but I decided to stick with the approved pose.

Johnathon was so excited for today! His first words to me when he got off the bus today were "Best Day Ever!"

Deborah ... Well, Deborah was given the assignment to decorate this face. The teacher called it a happy face. Deborah calls it a baby face. Even after I explained that it might be a representation of her, she would just giggle and call it "Baby Face."

Tonight when I was tucking her into bed, she said, "Mom, I'm a Kindergartener, and I have the BEST teacher."

Ryan seemed anxious to return to school today. Thankfully, Ms. Nelda is still able to go with him.

Overall, it's been a great day, with only one small hiccup. Hopefully, tomorrow will be even more smoooooth. :)

Morning Announcements

Deborah walked into my room this morning at 7 and announced, "It's time to get ready for Meet the Teacher" (which doesn't start till 5 pm). I think she's just a little bit excited!

One More Week

It's hard to believe we're down to just one more week.  Are you surprised that I made the decision?  I am.  Then I remember that every time I prayed about it I felt confident in the decision and I feel peaceful again.

We now know Johnathon's and Deborah's teachers.  I've heard great things about each of them.  I'm told Deborah has THE very best Kinder teacher:  THE teacher that everyone wants for their child.  And, Johnathon's teacher was selected just for him taking his personality and my personality into consideration.  So, hopefully, they will be great matches. 

Just one more week. 

Wonder

I am currently reading a book to the children called, "Wonder" to the children. 

This book was recommended to me by a room full of Moms that I consider to be the best of the best when it comes to good literature.   It had been recommended to them by Ms O, who we all consider to be the Queen of Great Literature, our Go To Person when we need a good book for our children.

I couldn't wait to finish our last book to start this book!  I looked forward to my children seeing into the life of another family with a special child.  I wasn't however prepared for the roller coaster of emotions this book would take me on in one evening.

I knew my children would be affected by the book but I was completely unprepared for the effects this book would have on me.  Last night as I reading aloud to the children the Via section, I could barely keep reading as I fought back the tears knowing that my children have at times experienced the same things that the main character's sister expressed.  I kept closing the book at the end of the chapter only to have the children say, "One more chapter, please!"

It is that Wonder-ful!

Happy 4th Birthday, Ryan!

This weekend we celebrated Ryan's 4th birthday!  Can you believe he's already 4 years old?

We enjoyed a great lunch and a fun party! 

 And, yes, Ryan even had a tiny taste of chocolate cake.  :)

The party was fun for everyone!

 About half way through the party, Ryan started to seem a bit apathetic toward the gifts.  We then noticed that he was a little bit tired.  So, we put the party on hold until he was better rested.   Then today we finished opening the rest of his presents.  I'm not sure who's enjoying his new CD player the most -- him or Deborah.  :)

It's been a great 4 years!

 A lady who doesn't know me very well once made a comment that was at once accusatory and apologetic to me that I had Ryan.  I was so surprised by her comment that I didn't even know how to respond to her.  I have since thought many times about her comment.  I have thought of the many things I wish I could share with her.  Things that she obviously doesn't know, about Ryan, about my family, about life.  I've tried a few times to share the joy that she obviously doesn't understand that comes with having Ryan as a member of my family.  But, it never seems to come out quite right.  So, tonight, I'll just say... knowing all that I know today, I'd do it all again! 

Happy birthday, Ryan!  I love you!

Oh, Deborah!

Deborah and Johnathon have been taking swimming lessons this summer and they are doing a great job!  Johnathon has mastered swimming without holding his nose (which used to be a huge obstacle) and is now working on various swimming strokes.  Deborah is overcoming (again) her fear of going under water and has become really good at blowing bubbles and kicking. 

This week we were at the pool and I realized that I had forgotten to put Deborah's hair into a pony tail before leaving the house.  After searching through the pool bag, all I could come up with was one of my head bands, but no pony tail holders. 

I started to put it on her and she grabbed my hand and said:

"Mom, I'm NOT that KIND of a girl."

Now, I might have understood that response had the head band looked like this:  

Or, even this:

But, it was just a SIMPLE, basic get-my-hair-out-of-my-face kind of head band, like this one:

So, I said to her, "Deborah, it's one of Mommy's head bands."

And, she promptly replied, with a look that I really wish I had a picture of:

"I know.  YOU'RE one of THOSE girls."




Oh, Deborah!

Back To School

You probably know that I've home schooled for the past 13 years.  Last year we did Texas Connections Academy for Johnathon and David, which technically is not home schooling, but I still had 3 children home with me all the time (except on Tuesdays when they spend most of the day with other homeschooling friends). 

Well, are you ready for this?  This year everyone is going to school!  Are you super surprised??? 

Ryan is going back to the same PPCD class, which we loved.

Deborah is going to Kindergarten at the same school, which she is SO excited about.

Johnathon is going to attend 4th grade also at the same school. He's happy about it now that he learned one of his friends is also in 4th grade at the same school.

David is going to be a Freshman at the High School.

Of course, Jacob and Jessica will continue going to High School.  Jacob is a Sophomore and Jessica will be a Senior.

AND, I'll be going back to college, too.  With everyone else back in school, I've decided it's time for me to finish my degree as well. 

So... it'll be a HUGE change around our house.  I've NEVER had all the kids in school before.  I'm not even sure how to manage it.  I'm sure I'll be asking some of you pro-Mom's how you handle different things that come up during the school year.  It'll be interesting.

It was a hard decision to make, but I feel it's the best for each of the children right now.  So, let's just hope I can handle it.  ;)

My To Do List

In the past 18 days, I have visited the ER three different times and had a weekend hospital stay. Once with Ryan because his right ear kept bleeding.  Last Friday, I took Ryan because he was turning grey due to low oxygen levels that did not seem to be seizure related.  And, yesterday, I took Jessica because she had basically been asleep since Sunday evening and wouldn't really wake up except to tell me that her head hurt or that she wanted to gouge her eyes out.

It was different this time with Jessica because I was on the adult side of the ER, but as usual I was very impressed with the entire staff, especially Doctor Ramirez and Hank, her nurse.  She had a lot of tests done and thankfully they just found it to be a severe case of sinusitis and strep.

But you might have noticed the title of this post is "My To Do List."  So, what does all that have to do with my to do list?  Well, as you might imagine 3 ER visits in 18 days took up a lot of time which meant things at home did not get done, which meant my list of things to do didn't get done.  On a daily basis it seems I add more to my to do list than I ever get done from my to do list.  It's a constant battle. 

But, I stand in awe at how God works.  During the ER visits and Ryan's hospital stay, inspired friends received promptings that took care of things on my to do list.  I wouldn't have even thought to call and ask for help with those items.  I tend to be a very independent person.  It's not that I'm too stubborn or afraid to ask for help.  It's just that I know I'll eventually get to it. 

Visiting teachers who texted at just the right moment which reminded me that I should let them know that we were in the ER.  A friend who offered to bring me Quinoa salad:  one of my very favorite foods.  Another mom who knows the joys and pains of special needs who just called because she was thinking about me.  Dinners provided for the family.  Rides for the other children.  A friend thinking of next year's seminary ride arrangements.  A blessing for Jessica.  A nurse willing to stay a little longer.

Three trips to the ER and a weekend hospital stay might be overwhelming, but because of friends who respond when inspired by God, my family's burdens are made lighter.  I am not surprised, but once again I stand in awe and gratitude for the blessings. 

Thank you, my friends!

Miracles

I want to share with you a link that a friend of mine posted on Facebook.  It's about miracles.

I think it's so important to recognize miracles, especially in our own lives, but also in the world around us.  We hear so much discouraging news and the recent tragedy in Aurora, Colorado once again exemplifies how captivated the world can be with the horror of an incident.  Yet even in these moments of tragedy God continues to work His miracles.

These miracles are not the focus of the news nor do they seem to make every headline.  However, miracles give hope not only to the direct recipients but to all who will allow themselves to be touched by them.  Miracles lift hearts and brighten spirits.

Please take a few minutes to read this post by Brad Strait:  A Miracle Inside the Aurora Shooting. 

PS  I do not know anything else about the author, Brad Strait or his blog.  But I do appreciate this particular post.  I hope you, too, will find it uplifting.

A Great Quote

I just read this and thought I'd share it with you...

"As we go through life, even through very rough waters, a father's instinctive impulse to cling tightly to his wife or to his children may not be the best way to accomplish his objective.  Instead, if he will lovingly cling to the Savior and the iron rod of the gospel, his family will want to cling to him and to the Savior . . . .  This lesson is surely not limited to fathers.  Regardless of gender, marital status, or age, individuals can choose to link themselves directly to the Savior, hold fast to the rod of His truth, and lead by the light of that truth.  By so doing, they become examples of righteousness to whom others will want to cling."  ~Russell M. Nelson

Funny Pictures

Deborah, Johnathon and I were getting ready to leave for a birthday party for one of my friends today when Johnathon decided to take a couple of pictures of me.   This one is a little blurry, but it made me smile, because it makes me look like I'm built more like my Mom when she was my age, which I'm SO not.  But, it's kind of cool to look like it in a picture ... even if it takes a blurry to picture to make me look like it.  haha.

And, this one hints at this creepy thing I can do with my neck.  The thinner I get the grosser it is. My neck looks like it's webbed and it's just ... well, it's just gross, creepy, ugh ... but in the picture below, you can kind of start seeing it.  SO ... here's the thing ... if you ever see me standing in any way that my neck starts creeping out ... please, tell me.  Ewww...

An ER Trip

This morning when I went into Ryan's room to get him ready for church, his right ear was full of blood.  There was no fever and he seemed to be in a good mood.  Since Dwight wasn't home and I was teaching Relief Society and helping one of the youth teach a Sunday School lesson, I needed to be at church.  I've seen the blood from the ear before and it's been due to an ear infection.  I thought I'd just keep him on motrin for the day and then take him to the pediatrician in the morning.

So we went to church and Ryan seemed to do alright until the very end of church.  We came home and he slept for most of the afternoon. But, then when he woke up from his nap, he had another large discharge of blood from his ear again.  I thought it was odd for a perforated ear drum to continue to bleed like that and so I called our Pediatrician's office and they told me he needed to be seen right away to get started on the right antibiotics. 

Thus, we made an ER trip .  It was a surprisingly quick trip.  It was a little shocking though to have to sit down in the waiting room.  We usually show up and get moved directly back to a room.  I usually say, "Hi, this is Ryan Mann and he's been having seizures ..." and they look at him and they take us right back and start an assessment.  I've never had to sit in the waiting room.  Not this time.  This time, Ryan was sitting up on my lap, talkative, and alert with good coloring.  Thus, we waited in the waiting room for a little bit. 

The Dr who examined him was so gentle. It was sweet. While he was examining Ryan's ears, I held Ryan's hands so that he wouldn't cause the Dr to push the instruments too far into his ears. Then I just continued to hold his hands for comfort. When the Dr started to examine his abdomen, Ryan insisted on letting go of my hands and took hold of the Dr's hand. The Dr stopped his examination and held Ryan's hand for a moment and just talked to Ryan. It was SO sweet. I appreciated his extra tenderness. Then when the Dr was leaving, Ryan wanted to sit up. So I sat him up and when the Dr said good bye, Ryan waved good bye to him. That always takes a minute, but the Dr waited and saw his little hand wave good bye. It was really precious.

Sunshine

My sister, Cynthia, better known as Sunshine to all her knew her was born on July 5th of 1966. She had Cystic Fibrosis and passed away in 1975.  Yesterday was a special day for our family as we remembered her wonderful influence she was in our family and to so many people. We are especially thankful for the knowledge that we are an eternal family! My sister, Joyce Scott Beaven, wrote a beautiful blog entry about meeting again in Heaven. 

 Yesterday was Cindy (Sunshine) Scott's birthday she is my sister and she was born July 5, 1966. She had Cystic Fibrosis and the life expectancy was 1 year at that time.  In 2012 the life expectancy is 37 years, maybe in my life time we will see the miracle of a cure.  After posting pictures on Facebook, Tina offered to introduce anyone to Cindy in heaven that did not know her.

So my first thought:  Let's make a plan to meet in heaven.     

John 14:1-3 

Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.

In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will acome again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.

My mansion will be the one with all the pink roses and flowers around it. Do you have your mansion picked out?
 

Friends, let's plan to meet in the middle of the beautiful mansions?  Some I will have the chance to see again here, and others I will have to plan to meet in heaven. Just know when I am leaving this earth I will be there waiting for you!! 

God be with you till we meet again.

~Joyce, aka the best (living) sister of Four 11 and Shrinking

 Thanks, sis!  You are the best (living) sister!  You might have some competition on the other side.  haha.

To answer her question: I don't know what my mansion will look like, but I hope to be so busy visiting others that I won't be there often anyway. I look forward to the sweet reunions there and anticipate seeing you all there!