Oxygen

I'm so thankful for the ability to have a pulse ox monitor and oxygen at home.  Tonight it saved us from having to go to the hospital.   So, we'll get through the night and see the doctor tomorrow morning just to make sure there's nothing that needs to be treated.

Guys Today

What do you call guys today?  You know the ones that we might have called cute or handsome in my day? (That'd be the 80's, in case you're wondering.)  They're too old to call adorable and I don't think "sharp" is how I would describe them ... at least not this time.  I'm not their age so I'm pretty sure it'd be REALLY CREEPY if I called them "smokin'" or "hot."  In fact, I feel weird even typing that. 

I'm not sure what to call these boys. I don't want to insult these guys.  So, I'll just say they have IT.  They have what Moms liked in the guys they dated a gazillion years ago.  Good looking, great sense of humor, fun, polite, dress well, and just plain cool.... Oh, and a really important one ... really good with parents.  (That's big!)

So, Tuesday night three of these guys with IT showed up at our house and one was carrying a door.  To understand why they brought a door to our house, you have to know that the theme to the local high school prom is Titanic.  (Still not understanding why the door?  Near the end of the movie, Titanic, Jack and Rose were floating on a door.)  Long story short, one of these guys with IT asked Jessica to prom by bringing over a door.  Cool, right?

A great quote

I saw this quote on the back of a t-shirt...

He will catch me 

when I fall,

or He will teach me

how to fly.

Isn't that great?  I love it!

 

Animals

Ryan's class has been learning about animals at school.

Ryan did not seem to enjoy being an elephant.

Let It Go

Tonight I'm finishing lesson preparations for tomorrow's Relief Society class.  I'm leading the discussion on "Of You It is Required to Forgive."  I started preparing this lesson during mid November and so I've had lots of time to ponder the subject.

For Christmas I received a book that I've been wanting to read called, "Let It Go" by Chris Williams.  You can watch an interview about his story.  Just click here. 

There are many profound truths about forgiveness in this book.  But one really stuck out to me tonight.  I won't tell you the full story behind the statement as I hope you'll read the full book.  I just want to share this thought with you. 

He says of an experience that had happened much earlier in his life, "I could see what I had allowed the Lord to make of my life because of what I experienced.  I could stop wondering, Why was this allowed to happen to me at such a young age?, and instead I could start detailing what Christ was able to make of my life and who He was able to bless through me because that [it] was allowed to happen."

Have you had an experience like that in your life?  Something that you wondered why it was allowed to happen to you?  What if, instead of questioning why it happened, you were to detail what Christ was able to make of your life and who He was able to bless through you because of what happened? 

The New Look for Ryan

On December 4, the morning started as usual.  It was great. Ryan was in a good mood.  Then we went to therapy.  I didn't go back with him, but the nurse did.  He has a great therapy team that I trust.  When I came back to pick him up there was an obvious tone of concern in the nurse's voice and she said they needed me to come back.  As soon as I heard Ryan I knew something was wrong.  The PT said, I needed to get him to the Dr's and see what was going on with his hip.  She thought it had come out of the socket.  His right leg was having spasms.  He was in obvious pain.  His cry was one of definite pain.  So, I picked him up and we took him to the van.  As soon as we got him loaded, I started driving toward the dr's office, which is located near the hospital as well.  She said she'd meet us at the hospital.


At the hospital they did x-rays.  The ER doc first came in and said the right hip was fine. Then a minute later she came looking quite shocked and said, "But, the left femur has a complete fracture."  Then she took me to see this picture:

I added the square to cover his privates.  It just seemed a little weird to post them on my blog.  :)

Within an hour, they had Ryan in the operating room.  They used pressure "blocks" to cast his leg back into place.  They did not pin it.  He will spend the next 6 weeks in this Spica cast.  He'll need to be rotated every 2-3 hours, around the clock.  The cast goes all the way up to his chest, is open on the tummy for his mic-key button, and open in the diaper area ... for obvious reasons.  As you can see below, it goes to his toes on the left leg and to his knee on the right.  The bar between the legs is not a carrying handle as Dwight would have you believe.  It's a stability bar.

Well, here we go... I'll blog more when I wake up...

So...

Go, Ryan!

Look what Ryan did today!

Do you see that smile?

This stuff is exhausting!

Ryan

Ryan's nurse caught Ryan working hard at school.  This is super awesome!  You might notice in this that his teacher, Mrs. V, is just barely supporting him at the lower back.  If you watch really closely, you can also see that he's engaging his arms to support himself and he's really using his right arm especially on the floor. 

I hope you enjoy this as much as I did!

Hmmm... Is there a way to turn a video?  I don't know.  Well, I guess you'll just have to lie down to watch it.  ;)

Bloomin' Flowers

This morning I went to the Temple to help plant flowers.  I really know nothing about how to plant flowers and thought it would be a great opportunity to learn.  I worked under the supervision of the nicest lady, Sue.  She was very kind in teaching me how to do things.  We made a great pair. 

We planted  Liberty Rose Pink Snapdragons, Clear Crystal White Alyssums, Blue Pansies, and Peacock Red Flowering Kale.  We also planted some yellow flowers, but I don't remember what they were.  Sometime I'll have to take a picture of the flower beds that I worked on and post it here.  The Temples always have such beautiful flowers.  I'm glad I had the chance to work on them. 

Prayer

If you have read my blog before you probably already know that I believe in the power of prayer.  I know many of you also believe in the power of prayer.  Well, this past Monday I was (once again) taught a lesson on prayer. 

For the past few weeks, I have struggled to figure out how I would solve what seemed to me to be a very difficult problem.  I needed to figure out a ride for Jessica and David to an activity and 45 minutes later Deborah and Johnathon need to be some place else, and I still need to manage Ryan's needs as well.  From the very first time I prayed about it Carol's name came to mind.  Well, that didn't make any sense.  Carol doesn't have any children.

I kept praying about it and thinking through the problem.  Every time I prayed about it, Carol came to mind.  Every time I thought about it, Carol came to mind.  That was confusing.  Why would I be thinking of Carol?  She's a great lady, but all of her kids are grown ups. 

By the weekend before I had to resolve the issue, I had even considered crazy options like having all 5 get completely ready to go and taking them all with me when I drop off David and Jessica.  And, even crazier options.

Well, Monday finally rolled around and I had to have this resolved by Tuesday morning.  I was sure I wasn't getting any answers to my prayers.  Nothing.  But, I prayed yet again.  Sometimes we just have to pray more diligently, right?  And, again with the Carol answer.

So, I waited a few hours and summoned up all my courage and called Carol.  I explained how I really didn't understand why she was the answer but perhaps she'd have some good advice since she had raised several kids.  I briefly explained our situation and then she said, "Well, I can just take your kids."

She made it sound so easy!  Let me tell you:  I sobbed.  I sobbed because the whole time I was fretting and stressing about this problem, Heavenly Father had been lovingly giving me the answer over and over again.  But, I hadn't been listening.  I had been unable to identify His voice.  I had been so busy trying to solve my own problem that I had listened to Him and He had already solved my problem for me.

It's made me wonder how many times I do that in my life?  Are there other times when I busy myself solving my own problems when I could just turn them over to Him?

I'm so grateful to Him for being persistent and patient.  I'm so grateful for Carol's help!  What a huge blessing!  I hope you all have people like Carol in your life.

Great Friends

Johnathon was invited to go with his good friend today to the corn maze.  

They had a great time!  

We are so thankful for good friends!

Good News from Houston

There were several bright spots for this trip.  First, they ditched the barium enemas during the CT's.  That was a welcome relief!  I met some amazing people with miraculous stories.  And, I dodge all biopsies!  Most spots have not grown at all except for the spots on my thyroid.  Those have grown some but are still rather small and they appear to be benign.  Yay!  However, my lymphoma doc is referring me to another department for a consultation within the next 2 weeks.

And, there's more good news... After reviewing some new research and my records they decided not to do maintenance chemo.  Recent research shows that "it doesn't increase survivability rates," especially for patients with refractory lymphoma, like me.  And, it has some risks that the doctor felt made it so that the risks do not outweigh the benefits.


In case you don't know, "survivability rate" is a term that oncologists throw around way too easily.  My cancer is a very survivable cancer.  It sounds much scarier in this case than it really is.  And, refractory lymphoma, just means that my lymphoma has been treated once, and has come back.

So, thank you all for thinking of me, your prayers, your love and support.  I am very blessed to have so many great friends and such a wonderful family!  

A Journal Post

Life has been crazy busy recently and I feel like I've been neglecting to do updates.  So, I thought I'd do a journal style post.  You know the journal entry where you try to catch up on the last 10 months all in one page?  Or, am I the only one who kept a journal that way?  :)

Many of you know that I put all the kids into public school this year, and some of you have been asking how it's going.  Thanks to some great advice the school year started very smoothly.  If I had to pick just one tip as the most helpful, I'd probably say it was when one of our new friends recommended laying out an entire week's worth of outfits for the younger ones.  Since public school requires the little ones to be up more than 2 hours earlier than before, it helps when they can just drag their sleepy selves into their closets and choose from pre-selected outfits.  Deborah adores her teacher, is "getting used to" classmates, but has made quite a few friends, really dislikes music time, loves art, and is very invested in getting her daily smiley faces from the teacher.  Johnathon is enjoying the academic side of things and is making great grades. I worried a lot about his handwriting skills, but they have improved significantly since starting school. He has struggled a little with figuring out the playground system and seems to be getting a handle on it now.  David found his lunch table immediately and is really enjoying latin club.  He is also in the high school's first play of the season.  So, he's busy and very happy.  Jessica is a senior this year and just anxious to be done.  Ryan is back in Mrs. V's class again and loves it.  He has a new Physical Therapist at the school who seems to be trying some new equipment with him. The same Vision, Occupational, and Hearing Therapists as last year continue to work with him.  They are all really fantastic!  So, we're very lucky that way!

Overall, I'm very pleased with how things are going.  I think the schools have a nice balance on how much homework they are sending.  I think the extracurricular activities at the high school level are WAY too time consuming, but other than that, I'm content.

BUT.... if I could traditionally home school, it would still be my preference.  Why?  For all the same reasons that I did it before.  I'm thankful that we live in a good school district where I feel comfortable sending my kids to school and I'm especially thankful that they have good teachers and good people in their lives. I feel comfortable ... well, only because I know I have done what is best for them at this time.  It was tough, and is still tough to have them gone all day.  I enjoy having my children around.  I enjoy learning with them. I enjoy their company.  I like them. 

 I might miss them, if I had time to miss them.  I have been asked several times what I'm doing with "all my free time."  Well, folks, the reason I put my kids in school was because I was severely over-scheduled and even with them in school, I have only managed to squeak out a few hours of free time in the past month. During that time, the first time, I cleaned my house for 4 hours.  The second time I went to the pool by myself and floated on the water for an hour in total peace.  And, the third time, I went to a friend's house and visited with her a few hours.  All three times it was really wonderful! 

So, you might ask what's keeping me so busy?  Most of you can probably guess.  Ryan's appointments, my appointments, the stacks of neglected paperwork, and my school work.

Ryan is mostly stable right now, thankfully.  He has not been seizing lately. I've been asked why. We haven't changed his medicine since that awful spell in November of last year, except to add a mid-day dose of the Lamictal.  Maybe it's the right medicine combination.  Maybe he's growing out of the seizures.  Maybe it's the blenderized whole foods diet.  Maybe it's a combination of all three.  Or, maybe it's just a tender mercy of the Lord.  I would prefer to attribute it to the latter.  Maybe due to His tender mercy He provided all that we needed in the way of medicines, the Doctors, the Doctors' intelligences, the knowledge for the diet, etc in order to help right.  However, we look at it, I can see God's hand in this miracle.  I'm sure you can, too.

After the most recent hospital visit for Ryan, which was due to low oxygen levels, we received new equipment at home for Ryan.  A few days after it was delivered it occurred to me that having oxygen delivered to our house, an oxygen concentrator, and a pulse oximeter really didn't even seem strange to me and that it probably should at least seem a little odd, or something.  It just seemed normal.  That is until I had to use it on Ryan. 

The Oxygen Concentrator

 There's really nothing normal about having a pulse oximeter attached to your 4 year old at home, and there's definitely nothing normal about being startled out of bed several times during the night to a loud noise that means his oxygen level is too low.  And, it really isn't normal to attach a nasal cannula to your child in middle of the night so that they can get their oxygen level back into the 90's.  But, it sure beats the heck out of rushing to the hospital, being stuck their for a minimum of 24 hours, and having Ryan pocked several times for mandatory blood work "just to be safe."  I'm thankful it's an option to have it in our home, as odd as it might be to have to use it.

The plan when I put the kids in school was to use the time to get caught up on stuff, take care of Ryan's medical stuff, my medical stuff, and do my school work.  One of the challenges I'm running into is that I'm spending far too much time doing my kids' chores.  They are gone for the majority of the day and the older kids have so much homework that I have struggled to figure out how much responsibility is fair.  I think I've leaned too far in the direction of leniency and now no one is even helping with chores.  So, those of you with kids in school, how do you do it?  Especially high school kids?  Are you the only one who cleans your house?  I've had someone suggest hiring someone to come in once a week, but right now we just have too many medical bills and besides it doesn't teach our children the responsibility. I really love the idea of serving my family, but I don't think I should be their servant.  I think there is a difference. 

As for college, I am loving it and this week I have at times wondered if I should have waited a little while longer to go back.  I am only take two classes -- just six credit hours.  I love the people I attend class with on Thursday night.  I love the subjects we are studying.  I am anxious to continue.  On the other hand, this week it has felt overwhelming to fit it into the schedule.  It has been hard to focus and to do my very best.  It has caused me to wonder if I was being selfish in going back right now.  

BUT ...
Here's what I know ... I know Heavenly Father asked me to go back and finish my degree. I know He led me to this specific path, and thus I know He can prepare a path for me to do it.  So, I will work hard to cheerfully do all the good that is required of me so that I can see the miracles that He will work in my life.

Have you had times like that in your life?  Times when you have had to just act in faith knowing that if you pushed through He would work miracles.  I know it works because I have seen it in my life before.  So, I'm counting on it again.

Melt My Heart

Ryan had a dentist appointment today.  While we were sitting in the waiting room, I was snuggling with him on my lap.  You can imagine it.  I was sitting in the typical waiting room chair with Ryan, who is now more than 3 feet tall, sitting to the side.  So, his right side was leaning against my chest.  His head was leaning on my shoulder. 

And, that's when it happened...

He took his left arm and reached up to my shoulder and HUGGED me!

Ryan HUGGED me!

It wasn't just a little slight move of his hand.  It was a full on HUG.

It melted this mom's heart.

Best. Picture. Ever.

Thank you, Mrs. V, for The. Best. Picture. Ever. (of Ryan)!

Day 1: Whew... Success.

We made it through the first day of school! And, the best part ... everyone, me included, had a GREAT day! Whew! Jessica wasn't thrilled to take pictures this morning, but she at least let me snap one quick picture before school.

David worked hard to give me a "mildly interested" look, until he had to sneeze. The sneeze made for a really funny picture, but I decided to stick with the approved pose.

Johnathon was so excited for today! His first words to me when he got off the bus today were "Best Day Ever!"

Deborah ... Well, Deborah was given the assignment to decorate this face. The teacher called it a happy face. Deborah calls it a baby face. Even after I explained that it might be a representation of her, she would just giggle and call it "Baby Face."

Tonight when I was tucking her into bed, she said, "Mom, I'm a Kindergartener, and I have the BEST teacher."

Ryan seemed anxious to return to school today. Thankfully, Ms. Nelda is still able to go with him.

Overall, it's been a great day, with only one small hiccup. Hopefully, tomorrow will be even more smoooooth. :)

Morning Announcements

Deborah walked into my room this morning at 7 and announced, "It's time to get ready for Meet the Teacher" (which doesn't start till 5 pm). I think she's just a little bit excited!

One More Week

It's hard to believe we're down to just one more week.  Are you surprised that I made the decision?  I am.  Then I remember that every time I prayed about it I felt confident in the decision and I feel peaceful again.

We now know Johnathon's and Deborah's teachers.  I've heard great things about each of them.  I'm told Deborah has THE very best Kinder teacher:  THE teacher that everyone wants for their child.  And, Johnathon's teacher was selected just for him taking his personality and my personality into consideration.  So, hopefully, they will be great matches. 

Just one more week. 

Wonder

I am currently reading a book to the children called, "Wonder" to the children. 

This book was recommended to me by a room full of Moms that I consider to be the best of the best when it comes to good literature.   It had been recommended to them by Ms O, who we all consider to be the Queen of Great Literature, our Go To Person when we need a good book for our children.

I couldn't wait to finish our last book to start this book!  I looked forward to my children seeing into the life of another family with a special child.  I wasn't however prepared for the roller coaster of emotions this book would take me on in one evening.

I knew my children would be affected by the book but I was completely unprepared for the effects this book would have on me.  Last night as I reading aloud to the children the Via section, I could barely keep reading as I fought back the tears knowing that my children have at times experienced the same things that the main character's sister expressed.  I kept closing the book at the end of the chapter only to have the children say, "One more chapter, please!"

It is that Wonder-ful!

Happy 4th Birthday, Ryan!

This weekend we celebrated Ryan's 4th birthday!  Can you believe he's already 4 years old?

We enjoyed a great lunch and a fun party! 

 And, yes, Ryan even had a tiny taste of chocolate cake.  :)

The party was fun for everyone!

 About half way through the party, Ryan started to seem a bit apathetic toward the gifts.  We then noticed that he was a little bit tired.  So, we put the party on hold until he was better rested.   Then today we finished opening the rest of his presents.  I'm not sure who's enjoying his new CD player the most -- him or Deborah.  :)

It's been a great 4 years!

 A lady who doesn't know me very well once made a comment that was at once accusatory and apologetic to me that I had Ryan.  I was so surprised by her comment that I didn't even know how to respond to her.  I have since thought many times about her comment.  I have thought of the many things I wish I could share with her.  Things that she obviously doesn't know, about Ryan, about my family, about life.  I've tried a few times to share the joy that she obviously doesn't understand that comes with having Ryan as a member of my family.  But, it never seems to come out quite right.  So, tonight, I'll just say... knowing all that I know today, I'd do it all again! 

Happy birthday, Ryan!  I love you!