Let them govern themselves? Really?

Today started off a bit frustrating. Both of our Tuesday co-ops were cancelled due to sickness. With the unscheduled time, I thought we'd do some fun, easy school things. But 15 minutes out of my room was enough to frustrate the plans. I quickly felt very overwhelmed and questioned my "career" choice.

Long story short, I decided to "run away" for the day. (Thanks, Dwight and Jessica, for making my day off possible.) At first, I felt a lot of guilt about taking the day off. But, 20 minutes of uninterrupted time talking to a good lady helped me to put things back into perspective.

While attending Time Out for Women, one of the speakers spoke of Joseph Smith's statement of "We teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves." I knew/know it is a correct principle, but every time I hear that statement I think "but it just doesn't seem to work out so well for me." Pause ... let me acknowledge that I know I have good kids and I know that they really do a lot of good things. I recognize that in comparisons to a lot of homes I have very peaceful, extremely well-behaved kids. I don't mean to discount that in any way. Yet, we do have the spirit of contention and disobedience at times. And, lately, it seems that it is much more prevalent than it ought to be.

So... back to my thoughts ... "We teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves." How do I apply this correct principle?

As I talked about this with my friend, I realized that I always hear the "let them govern themselves" and sort of just gloss over the first, perhaps the most important part: "We teach them correct principles." Notice that Joseph didn't say: "We teach them correct principles for the first 8 years or their lives." He didn't say: "We teach them correct principles on Sundays and during Family Home Evening." Nor did he say: "We teach them correct principles on Sundays, during FHE, mutual, scripture study, and any other time it is self-serving or convenient." He said, "We teach them correct principles."

Some parenting experts recommend that we should give our kids at least 10 positive comments for each negative comment in order to ensure success. Perhaps we really out to TEACH 10 righteous principles for each unrighteous thing they encounter. (If we were to teach at that ratio, we'd be so exhausted that we'd have no choice but let them govern themselves! :))

PS Thanks Tami for reminding me of correct principles!

My Friend

This is my friend, Tami. Isn't she pretty? She's also an amazing lady! I have been so blessed to know her and her family. She has been such a blessing inn my life. She's spiritual, and funny, and intelligent, and thoughtful. She sent me a note tonight that said:"I’m grateful for a friend like you. You have been such a blessing in my life. It’s just evidence that when the Lord has something hard for you to go through, He provides a way and friends to help you through it."

This isn't the first time she has sent me a thoughtful note. She's just amazing! Oh, and the best thing about her ...

She's a knitter!

Happy Halloween!
More pictures coming soon...

Ryan Smiles!

Do you see that smile? Isn't it great!!!!

Art

Today we studied the Swiss born artist Paul Klee. Here are the boys' Klee's:

Jacob'sDavid's

Johnathon's

Family Home Evening: Halloween Style

Tonight we did the annual Halloween style family home evening. Everyone participated. Dad and Jessica carved the pumpkins. They did a great job, right?

Jessica's Jack

Dad's Jack

Of course, it takes a while to carve pumpkins and well, the rest of us got a bit silly ...

And, I have amazing, wonderful, inspired, sweet, fun, and thoughtful visiting teachers. Today they brought cupcakes. So we had yummy, yummy treats! (Thanks, Jana!)

(Be sure to click on the picture of Deborah! You don't want to miss the crumbs.)

Happy Birthday, David!

Can you believe David is 10 years old? We are so thankful to have David as a part of our family. In honor of his ten years, I thought I would use 10 words to describe him. Here goes: witty, intelligent, thoughtful, honest, friendly, totally cute, hard working, fun, charming, and righteous.

This year for his birthday he wanted: legos, transformers, neoshifters, video games, board games, nerf dart guns, a watch, or money. He received legos, a neoshifter, backgammon, a watch, 2 amazing pictures drawn and framed by his sister, and money.


He designed this fun birthday "cake". It actually is pudding with crushed oreos on top, milano cookies as tombstones, and cool whip as ghosts.

I Know!

Tonight I attended a Time Out For Women held here in San Antonio. While Michael McLean was performing/speaking he asked us to listen and think of ourselves as asking the questions. He wanted us to listen for the responses. The first question he said was "Do you love me?" We were to imagine ourselves asking our Heavenly Father that question. And, we were to listen for the response.

As soon as the question was asked I thought, "I know He loves me!" I know it because it is evidenced all around me by all the amazing people in my life. During all of this year's events, I have had so much support. Any time I have started to feel overwhelmed or discouraged, yet another sister has shown up or called to put their arms around me with love and support. We have been the recipient of so many kind acts this year. Thus, I know He loves me! I know He hears and answers my prayers, even the ones that have only been whispered by my heart.

Thanks, Aunt Joyce!

We loved the book & plushy thingy!
We loved the pencils and the straws!We loved the Halloweeny pencils!

and we really loved the ...

GLASSES!

But, most of all, we love you!! Thanks for thinking of us! We had lots of fun today and the kids sure appreciated your thoughtfulness.

Still hurting and you want me to do what?

Today I went back to the surgeon. They removed the cast. Here's what it looks like ...

I'm pleased with how clean the incision is. It's about 4 1/2 inches long, but straight and thin. The purple stuff is actually a marker. (If you look closely on the right end, you'll see where they had me right my initials.) But, the green stuff is not a halloween decoration; it's the remnants of all the bruising.

After meeting with the surgeon and being lectured about 5 times by her and my Sweetheart about my continuing limitations, I was released to the rehabilitation center. They made me a removable cast and gave me instructions for exercises to do twice a day. Here's what my new cast looks like...

So, now the fun begins ... they want me to move my fingers. I can't even straighten out my fingers or make a complete fist. The physical therapy isn't fun. But, I'm hopeful that it'll start feeling better soon.

Eyes

On October 20th we took Ryan to see an Ophthalmologist as Dr. Rhame suggested. His eyes do not seem to move together, nor does he track anything. He doesn't seem to respond visually to any stimulus, and I'm not sure if his little pupils even dilate like they should. Dr. Rhame suggested we have him see Dr. Lina Marouf of Retina Associates of South Texas.

They used some drops to dilate his eyes. Then with Dwight holding him on his lap, they propped his eyes open with some torture-looking devices. Apparently, they poked at his eyes a bunch. It only lasted for probably less than 1 minute. Ryan, of course, cried through the whole thing. I was thankful that I didn't have to hold him. It's hard to watch people do things like that to your children, even when you know it's to ultimately help them.

Anyway ... the diagnosis was good. His retinas are correctly formed. This doesn't, however, tell us anything about his vision. Dr. Marouf referred us to Dr Zwaan or Dr McCash for further review. How can one test an infant's vision? Hmm....

OUCH!!!

So, when they told me I would have surgery I proudly thought, "Heck, I've had 5 c-sections and they were no big deal." I was realistic about it all. I mean I knew it would be very inconvenient to be a nursing mommy with only 1 hand... but, I'm fairly ambidextrous. 2 days of pain killers and bed rest and then I'd be back to normal.

I should have known that wouldn't be the case when I woke up from the anethesia with severe pain in my hand. (You know the scale they always use to judge your pain ... what is your pain on a level of 1-10 with 1 being nothing and 10 being severe. I've never used anything over a 7 before because I've always been pretty confident it could get worse. Well, I said 10!) 2 shots of morphine later it was at least tolerable.

Today I am still in pain. I thought it would be gone by now. I had to call the dr last night because my hand was super swollen and hurting desperately bad. So, he had me take off the bandages over the cast and cut into the top and bottom of the wrapping to allow room for the swelling.

These pictures don't really do it justice, but it will give you an idea..

Too funny...

Deborah loves playing ball! She loves to hold, roll, kick, and throw balls. She just loves it! Well, Daddy had laid Ryan down on the floor and Deborah who was near by took the opportunity to roll the ball to Ryan. Well, Ryan was kicking his legs and just happened to catch the ball with his foot and gave it a good kick! Deborah was thrilled! I'm sure she thought she had just found her perfect playmate! So, of course, she rolled the ball again to him. This is the roll that you see in the picture. What you don't see is where this roll landed ... his forehead. Okay, time to put down the camera and move the baby!

Day out with Daddy

Today was Jessica's first day at her new Art School. Dwight and Deborah took her. Since it is all the way downtown, Dwight and Deborah just played all day. They found an arts festival downtown with an area called "Chalk It Up!" Deborah had a great time!

So sweet...

Sweet, right?

Sleeping

Daddy made fun of the little yellow cap, but I have discovered that Ryan actually sleeps for 2-3 consecutive hours if he's toasty warm. I think it's worth the goofy hat. :)

Pediatrician Visit

I took Ryan and Deborah to see our pediatrician today. Both seem to be doing well. We still have a few obstacles with Ryan, but he is getting stronger. Both received immunizations today. Deborah felt very betrayed by it and cried ALL the way home (20 minutes). I gave kisses and even offered donuts, but she still cried. Then we arrived home and she went right to Daddy. He gave her kisses and she was completely better! No more crying at all. I'm thankful that when my kisses aren't magic Daddy's are!

Ryan weighed 8 pounds and 11 ounces and is 22 1/2 inches long. Deborah weighed 22 pounds and 13 ounces and is 32 inches tall.

My Strengths

I almost didn't go to our Relief Society's Enrichment meeting tonight. It just seemed like a lot of work to take Ryan, and especially without a guaranteed pay off. But I went ... honestly, cause I would have wondered what I had missed if I didn't go.

Well, they divided us into small groups and we each told a few things about ourselves. We also wrote 5-10 words about the other sisters in our group on stickers that we then put on a paper for each individual.

There were 4 other ladies in our group. One I had just met for the first time; one is a fairly new sister who is also my neighbor; and the 2 other ladies I have known for a while and are 2 of my favorite people. It's always a little surprising to see what others think of us. I find that they are typically much kinder than I am to myself. So, here's what they wrote on my paper:

Organized, good listener, busy, sincere, funny, spiritual, good mother.
Good teacher, good conversationalist, intelligent, caring, friendly, good Mom, peace maker.
Organized, brilliant, resilient, kind, funny, amazing, strong.
Creative, friendly, outgoing, good listener, giver.

I'm thankful for good friends and for good leaders. This is just a small portion of an outstanding evening.

An Update on Ryan

I sent this email out to all of our amazing friends and family:

I thought you all might like to hear an update on Baby Ryan. I know Dwight sent you all a link to the family’s website with some pictures right after he was born. Hopefully, you were able to actually view them. (http://www.adventuresinchaos.com) Here’s the rest of the story…

When Ryan was born, he did not cry in the delivery room. They worked with him for several minutes and gave him oxygen, but he still didn’t cry. After being in the nursery for a couple of hours, they determined that his breathing, while not labored, was much too fast. He was taking about 120 breaths per minute versus the average baby’s 40-60 breaths per minute. They did lung x-rays and found out that his lungs were “hazy” or “wet”. They transferred him to the NICU and told us they expected him to be there for 24-48 hours.

Blood work showed a lot of leukocytes (or immature white blood cells) indicative of an infection. They started IV antibiotics and kept him on monitors. They put a tube in his throat to feed him so that eating wouldn’t stress him any further. After 3 days of antibiotics, his lungs were still hazy and his blood work still showed signs of infection. It was determined then that he’d need to have a 7 day course of antibiotics. They weren’t confident that the infection was the cause of his rapid breathing. They had anticipated his lungs clearing much faster. Even when his lung xrays eventually came back clear, his breathing was still much too rapid.

So, they did LOTS of tests … CT scans, kidney ultrasounds, ECGs, chest x-rays, daily blood work, chromosome panels, head ultrasounds, etc. After 7 or 8 days in the NICU, they even talked of sending him home with monitors and a “G” tube. (A G tube is a feeding tube surgically implanted in his tummy.) During the first week plus of his life, we never heard him cry. He basically just slept. I remember numerous times of walking into the nicu, hearing a baby cry, and hoping it was Ryan. There was always a feeling of sadness when I realized it wasn’t him.

Since I had a c-section, they had me stay at the hospital during the 2 weeks. This enabled me to provide “kangaroo care” (skin to skin contact) which they have found to be extremely helpful with NICU babies. It also enabled me to nurse as allowed. He was fed every 3 hours round the clock. Most of the time, I would go into the NICU, hold him while he was fed through the tube. When he was finished eating, I would go pump so that they would have milk to feed him for the next feeding.

Eventually to make a really long story must shorter, after about 10 days, he woke up. They found everything to be normal, except for 2 minor heart defects. The neonatologists think he was a “premature full-term baby”. Many of the problems he had were common for preemies, but at 38 ½ weeks and 7 ½ pounds, he wasn’t technically a preemie, but he did have many of the symptoms.

As for the heart defects … The first defect is fairly common and is a mild form of the problem. They anticipate it will correct itself with time. The second defect is not so minor and they anticipate it will need surgery at some point. For now, we will be following up with the Pediatric Cardiologist frequently. It could require surgery in a month, or it may not require surgery until he’s in his teens or later. We will just have to see (and pray for miracles).

Speaking of miracles… during our 2 weeks in the NICU, we witnessed numerous miracles for our family and others. Even prior to delivering Ryan, there were blessings. Some of you already know, that I had felt very impressed to change hospitals, which required a change in doctors. It was a hard choice to make as I really liked my OB. It worked out to be such a blessing that I did change. The new hospital is only 2 miles from home instead of 20. Additionally, Ryan would have been transferred from the old hospital to this one. If he had been transferred, I would not have been able to stay with him for the 2 weeks. This would have probably resulted in a G tube. Additionally during our stay, we were blessed with the best specialists, nurses and friends. Our dear friends brought dinner to our family each evening, and lunch to me each day. We had more offers for help than we could even use. We felt the power of the many, many prayers being given on our behalf. And, for all these blessings and miracles, we are very grateful!

We are SO thankful to have Baby Ryan home and that he has found his voice. (He really can cry! J Who knew that with my 6th child I would feel gratitude for his crying.)

We thought you might enjoy seeing some new pictures. If interested, go to:

http://s27.photobucket.com/albums/c193/MommyTin/

The password is: mannguest
(all lower case)

On the left side, you’ll see a list of our photo albums. You’re welcome to browse them all, but if you click on “Baby Ryan”, you’ll see our latest pictures. This will give you a small image of each picture. But, if you click on “Slide show” on the upper right side, then you can see the images and the descriptions. I hope that’s clear…

Love,
Tina

Half Way There

March 17th marked the half way point for the pregnancy.

On March 19th, I went in for another appointment with Dr. Murdock. Nothing remarkable. Everything seemed fine.

On April 7th, I took a tour of the hospital. It's a very nice facility. The majority of the tour was spent addressing the needs/concerns of those who will be doing vaginal deliveries.