Friday, January 9, 2009

Pediatric Ophthamologist

I was unable to get an appointment with Dr Rhame's first recommendation, Dr McCash, as they do not accept our insurance. Dr McCash's office also gave me the names of:

Dr. Shatz (210.704.4100) located downtown
Dr. Cohen(210.697.2020) located in Stone Oak

Dr Rhame had also given me the name of Dr. Mark Berry. Dr Berry's office could not see us til February in his Stone Oak office. So, I called Dr Cohen. We have an appointment on Wednesday, January 14th at 8.40 am.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Visit with Dr. Rhame

Today during Johnathon's well-child care check up, Dr. Rhame started watching Ryan and then started examining his eyes. After chatting for a few minutes, he asked if there were any updates on Ryan.

I told him about our appointment with Dr. Fierro and the chromosome microarray test. We discussed that it will probably be typical to do have lots of tests and maybe even some re-tests till we determine what is going on with Ryan. He gave me the name of 2 pediatric opthamologists: Dr. McCash and Dr. Mark Berry, and asked me to get Ryan in to see one of them.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Developmental Pediatrician

We just got back from an appointment with Ryan's developmental Pediatrician, Dr. Mario Fierro, and Monical Tagle the CPNP.

Ryan is 5 months old. (He will be 23 weeks tomorrow.) He weighed 13 pounds 6 ounces and measured 23 3/4 inches. He is still below the chart for weight and in the lower 5th percentile for his height. They are however pleased with his growth since he is still going up. They were also pleased that he is able to lift his head up a little, and that he can kind of hold it up. (He's still a bit of a bobble head though.) They also liked that the dystonia (stiffness) in his lower body has relaxed a bit. They were happy to see that his pupils do change in size even though they are smaller than they should be. They think he is seeing some objects, but suspect that he does not have full vision.

They are still concerned that he lacks the ability to hold his head up. He also still has too much stiffness in his upper body, and especially holds his right arm in an abnormal manner. They also noted that his breasts are not symmetrical. And, they are concerned that the way his eyes kind of bounce around at times may be small seizures, and anticipate that the Neurologist will order an extended EEG.

They continue to watch his feeding habits, but feel a bit more relaxed about them as he is gaining weight and is not choking with every feeding. They suggested suctioning his nose before each feeding and after each feeding. Apparently, this will help if it's just that he is unable to clear congestion in his airway.

They have asked/recommended that the Occupational Therapist meet with him weekly instead of twice each month. They would also like a Physical Therapist to start meeting with him weekly.

They also recommended that we work on his visual tracking in dim light or in the black box. And, that we continue to work on tummy time, but perhaps make it in very small increments ... like 1-2 minutes. This will help to tone his core muscles. They also would like us to have him sit up on our laps more with our hands sandwiching him for support, and lightly supporting the back of his neck so that it doesn't drop backwards.

Tonight they had us go to the hospital to get blood drawn for a "Chromosome MicroArray". Dwight & I thought this had happened at the hospital; however, apparently they only ordered a blood test that checked for the most common chromosome disorders. (I feel a little frustrated about that as it is not what we were told was being done nor what we requested to be done.) The blood draw was not fun. They had a really tough time getting 3 cc's of blood from him. They were supposed to draw 5, but had to withdraw the needle as nothing else was coming. They called the lab and were told that 3 would be enough. I hope they're right. The test results should be back in 2 weeks. Just after we see the Neurologist.

They also debated doing an MRI. However, they would like the Neurologist to see him first. An MRI requires an infant being sedated, which has its risks. Additionally, the brain changes so dramatically between now and 1 year that if they can postpone it, they'd prefer to wait. Waiting will result in a better diagnostic picture and less risks with the anesthesia. So, we'll see whether the Neurologist thinks the benefits outweigh the risks.

Dr Fierro feels that the "dysmorphic appearances" are more indicative of a chromosomal abnormality than of Cerebral Palsy. Bottom line though is that we have no more answers than we did before, and we need to do more therapy and more testing.

It's been a very long day, but I'm so thankful for little Ryan. I'm thankful that he is not an irritable baby, and for all the progress that he is making. I'm also really thankful for all these specialists.

Humpty Dumpty

Recently I have been reviewing books on early childhood education. I've read them before, but I find I need to refresh my memory with each child. One of the books I was reading talked about nursery rhymes and their educational value.

Today I was at the Developmental Pediatrician's office with Ryan. The Dr and the Nurse Practitioner had really ticked him off by putting him on his tummy. Then they left to write up test orders. I was trying to calm him by "singing" nursery rhymes. I was slowly pacing the dimly lit room holding Ryan and "singing" Humpty Dumpty. You remember it ...

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the King's horses, and all the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.

I had repeated it a few times, and then it occurred to me...

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the King's horses, and all the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.
...But Heavenly Father could

I know it doesn't rhyme perfectly, but isn't it a great thought! Kings and men might not be able to do all things, but Heavenly Father can.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Are you looking at me?

In the early morning hours, with very little light in the room, I was nursing Ryan. When he finished nursing, while still snuggled in my arms, he seemed to be looking at me. Can he see me? Does he feel joy when he sees me?

Friday, January 2, 2009

Happy New Year!

We had a wonderful start to our new year. Dwight took me out to a nice dinner while the munchkins ate Lunchables (their choice) at home. We let the kids stay up a little late and then tucked them into their cozy beds. Then Dwight woke them up again at 11.30 pm to watch the New Year roll in. We had some bubbly peach juice and egg nog. (Did you know that I find the thought of drinking egg nog to be just disgusting?) But the kids love it with t a little whipped cream and nutmeg on top. Then we also had some toasted baguettes with pancetta and melted mozarella cheese, a smoky bacon cheese ball with ritz crackers, and some little weiner bites. I thought the kids would really love those, but not so much. Oh, well. We had fun talking and laughing for a little while then we all went to bed for the night.

Can you believe that it's 2009? I can't. It seems like it wasn't that long ago that Laura and I were celebrating the new year at her Mom's ... oh, and I also remember celebrating with Amber ... okay that must have been a while ago though ... I think we were like 12. Anyway the point is... I think it's crazy how fast the years go. It won't be long till we have children starting to get married. That's crazy. Of course, I think it'll be great to knit beautiful heirloom sweaters for the grandbabies! Won't that be great?!

So I know a lot of people are thinking about new year's resolutions at this time of the year. One year I spent tons and tons of time on them. I started by writing out what I would want people to say about me when I died. Then I sat goals based on that information. For example, I wanted people to say I was a good friend. So I sat a goal to write at least one letter each week. And, I wanted people to say that I was a gospel scholar. So I sat a goal to study one gospel topic each week. I won't bore you with all the goals from that year ... especially since I don't remember them all. I kept a few, and I forgot about a few before the end of the first week I'm sure.

This year I've been thinking ... I don't want to be a complainer. I don't think I complain a lot. So, I'm going to instead learn not to be critical. I am critical. Did you read that quote on the side bar? Sometimes our criticisms are worse than the behavior we're trying to correct. Well, I think that might be true for me. I used to work in Quality Assurance (like Dwight), and so I have been trained to be very detailed, and to find all the flaws in a program. Unfortunately, that crossed over into my life and so sometimes I can be very critical. (No, I'm not always. So, please know that I'm not judging everything you do.)

Anyway ... to this end we're changing some of the kids' daily expectations. I'm not going to require them to clean up the toys in their rooms daily. I hope I can tolerate it. I'm a little neurotic about it at times. And, I can be very critical of how they clean. We'll see how it goes.

But, I've also been thinking about another thing ... it's not a resolution. It's really more of a project. I've been thinking I'd like to re-read Jesus the Christ by Talmage. But, this time, I'd like to write letters to my children explaining what I read to them. Eventually, I'd like to put those letters into a book format, but for now, I'll just work on the reading and writing part.

Now, here's why I'm sharing this with all of you. I have a bit of an issue with fear of failure. I don't like to have people see me fail. So, I've learned to use it to my advantage. I have found that if I tell people what I'm working on then I feel accountable to really stick to it. So, there you have it. Now you know.... I'll be working on not being critical ... and on reading Jesus the Christ, and writing letters to my kids about it. (I'd also tell you that I'm going to be working on losing 10 pounds, but the sugar cookie dough in the refrigerator is still calling my name. I'd better wait till I'm really committed to lose the weight.)

Better go... Ryan has been throwing up today. After the last round, I laid him down on his playmat while I washed my hands and he fell asleep. Doesn't he look sweet?

Sunday, December 28, 2008

My favorite quote

My nephew Kevin gave me a beautiful gift for Christmas this year. It was a complete surprise, and I just love it. I framed it as soon as I returned home from Indiana. Isn't it great?Thanks, Kevin!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

We took the kids to the McNay Art Museum today. I had read about an exhibit they had showcasing the works of Tim Burton's the Nightmare Before Christmas, one of Deborah's favorite movies. I was excited as this would combine a Cub Scout requirement for David with some fun stuff to see. Dwight took some cute pictures...When was the last time you were at an art museum? Do you love them? Hmmm... I don't. I was there for about 15 minutes before I was ready to leave. I felt like a child with ADD. Yup, the paintings are cool. And, Yup, I recognize the names of those artists ... but, can we go yet? Okay, can we go now?

I'm glad my sweetheart has so much patience with me. Afterall, I talked him into going. He had other things planned for his day and I said, "I'd really like you to be with us. Please go and let's have a family field trip." So, he did. And, me ... yea, I was ready to go 15 minutes after getting there. Dwight was great though ... he made it fun for the kids and pointed things out to them.

The good part of our day ... I got a cute photo of Johnathon ... see:

Rolling Over

Tonight Ryan was laying on his play mat surrounded by the Skinner Box on 3 sides and some dangling toys/noise makers. He managed to roll almost over but his right arm was tucked down straight at his side. Ryan felt panicked by his inability to get back to his back. He started to cry/fuss. Dwight went to him and was so pleased with Ryan's accomplishment.

I love that when Dwight sees Ryan, he sees all that he can do. Dwight plays with him and talks to him like he's the perfectly healthy child. I'm so thankful cause I need his reminder that Ryan is perfect. Sometimes I worry so much about him that I forget to just enjoy him.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

He must have been watching...

On Tuesday, Dwight and I took Johnathon and Deborah Christmas shopping for their sibling's exchange gifts. While Johnathon and I were walking around Target, he spotted a Star Wars cap and instantly fell in love! He asked me if we could buy it and I said, "Not tonight." He quickly responded, with the faith of an imaginative 6 year old, "I sure hope Santa's watching in his snow globe!"

So, what could Santa do but give him that hat for Christmas? As soon as he opened the gift, (Oh, how I wish I had been taping then), he exclaimed, "Oh, he WAS watching!"

It's almost 9 pm here and I am wiped out. It's been a busy day, but oh, we've had fun! I thought I'd share a few pictures and a few fun video clips. Okay, there's really more than just a few ...

Last night we went to see The Tale of Desperaux. We had read the book as a family a while ago and so we were pretty excited to see it. The munchkins all decided to wear santa hats to the theater.This year I started what will be a new tradition. We took a picture of each individual child as they came down the stairs for Christmas morning. Isn't that fun? Ryan was still snuggled up all comfy in bed.And, of course, as soon as I took the picture, he started to wake and did that cute little baby stretch...Daddy started our Christmas morning with some fun Christmas songs playing and Deborah was SOOO excited she could not contain herself. I tried to take a picture of the little Christmas dance she was doing, but couldn't catch her ever facing the camera.We all ate a little protein to get us through the morning exercises. :) And, then it began... Daddy always hands out our presents. He does an amazing job! We had lots of fun! It's great to watch the munchkins open their gifts. I think we must have the most gracious children on earth too. Everything was just what they've always wanted! Ryan was awake for the festivities and seemed to be fixated on the lights. Deborah bought him a new wrist wrattle. She was scared to death of them as a baby, but he doesn't seem to mind them.Deborah was really excited that Santa had brought her stuff with Elmo on it. I think she would have been perfectly happy with a box wrapped in Elmo.
Tonight while nursing Ryan I was reading a wonderful blog written by a Mom with a child who has Cerebral Palsy (CP). The blog site is:
http://cerebralpalsybaby.blogspot.com/

I feel overwhelmed at what our future may hold. How will I balance the needs of Ryan with all the needs of my other 5 children? Will I really be able to help him live his best life? Will I be patient enough? Will I be smart enough? I pray I'll be able to rise to what ever the occasion calls for. I know it may seem selfish, but please, please let Ryan be alright. That would be the very best Christmas present ever. I believe in miracles...

Merry Christmas!

It's 1 am and everything is finally ready for Christmas! Most years I don't sleep well on Christmas eve, but tonight I'm so tired that I think I'll sleep just fine. I'm sure Ryan will be waking in just a few short hours.

Hmmm.... what time should we start the festivities?

Anyway ... merry Christmas to you all!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

I saw this on Jenny's blog and also thought I'd give it a try. You should try it too.

These are a list of questions that you must answer with one word answers. Can you do it? Here;s my attempt...

1. Where is your cell phone? bag
2. Where is your significant other? bed
3. Your hair color? brown?
4. Your mother? Talented
5. Your Father? Trustworthy
6. Your favorite thing? people
7. Your dream last night? blank
8. Your dream/goal? Fitness
9. The room you're in? bedroom
10. Your hobby? knitting
11. Your fear? drowning
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Beach
13. Where were you last night? Date
14. What you're not? Psychotic :)
15. One of your wish list items? Beach
16. Where you grew up? Indiana
17. The last thing you did? read
18. What are you wearing? undies
19. Your TV? on
20. Your pet? kids
21. Your computer? communicate
22. Your mood? cheerful
23. Missing someone? yes
24. Your car? van
25. Something your not wearing? socks
26. Favorite store? depends
27. Your summer? hot
28. Love someone? many
29. Your favorite color? fall
30. Last time you laughed? minutes
31. Last time you cried? today

Your turn...
We are very blessed to have the sweetest Occupational Therapist who works with Ryan at our home. She is so encouraging and thoughtful. During her visit on Friday, Ryan was very alert, and really enjoyed being near the Christmas tree. He seemed to be looking at the lights. Notice how well he's holding up his head in this picture ... and he's doing it without any support.

Only 29 more days...

Saturday, December 20, 2008


Jacob and Daddy went camping last night with the other 11 year old Scouts. I hear they had a great time. They made some yummy beef stew and hung out around the fire. The boys told "scary" ghost stories, and then one of the Dads, our friend Jeff, told a real ghost story. Dwight said the boys started moving into a little huddle together and were obviously getting a little uptight. So after that story, in hopes of getting some sleep, Dwight got all the boys talking about Batman. One of the boys reported in the morning, that to his surprise he didn't think about the scary stuff cause he was too busy thinking about Batman. It sounds like Dwight's genius plan worked.

This morning they had breakfast, and helped to clear some trees from the property where they stayed. They built the above contraption, sat on it, took pictures, and then took it down again. It seems a good time was had by all. Jacob is looking forward to his next camping adventure.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Today has been a bit frustrating. I can't seem to comfort Ryan in any way other than just feeding him. He doesn't respond to me, and he doesn't seem to feel comforted by anything I do. It's just tough.

She still fits in a back pack!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Dr Rhame left a voice mail message last night at 5.15 pm. He was calling to follow up on Ryan. He wanted to see if we were able to get an appointment with the Neurologist.

I spoke with him this morning. He said he pulled all the hospital tests and was unable to find any thing. He wanted to know when our appointment was scheduled and with which Neurologist. I told him we were scheduled for February 3rd with Dr. John Seals. He asked if I would like him to call and see if we could get it moved forward. I told him that would be great and expressed appreciation.

A few minutes after I hung up from Dr Rhame, Dr Seals office called me and rescheduled Ryan's appointment to January 19th at 8.45 am. I called Dr Rhame's office back, scheduled Ryan's well-child care appointment for February 2nd, and left a message thanking Dr. Rhame.